Utterly Forgettable | MM Romance | Complete

Eleven: You Make Me Want To Stay

Time continued to pass, bringing with it other good news. Emery was back to his regular weight, cheeks and eyes far from sunken these days. His harsh regimen had several months to go before it was completed, but he was no longer contagious — he'd received the latest batch of tests only two hours earlier.

Josh was having a fight with the ice that had built up in his freezer when Emery walked in, dressed in a smart suit and shirt. Josh missed him in his tailored clothes of old, but the charcoal suit was a good fit, one Josh had chosen in his buying spree. Seeing Emery without his mask, with a little hair on his head and glasses on his face, Josh's grin was a foregone conclusion.

Emery smiled back; it was beautiful to be able to see his whole face when it happened. Josh took the excuse to turn off the hair dryer that he'd been using to attack the ice and take a break. "Don't look now, but your face is naked."

A huff. "So it is." He ran a hand over his chin, eyes pensive. "I'd almost forgotten how walking around like this feels."

"I'd almost forgotten what you look like. And you're going out? Congratulations. Any plans to celebrate?"

The lightness in him faded in increments, making Josh wonder what he'd said wrong.

"I hadn't considered celebrating. Well, unless you consider a job interview a celebration," Emery added, lips twisting in a smile that never reached his eyes.

Of course he had an interview on the very day he'd been cleared to go out, Josh thought to himself with an internal eye roll. This was Emery, after all. Yet, if he had a job interview, he was sure to be pleased — he was no less independent than Emma had been, and Josh knew how much it had cost him, having to accept help in any way. Why didn't he look pleased, then? "What's the interview for, can I ask?"

"Office clerk." Emery looked away. "I was hoping..." He swallowed, facing Josh again. "Would it be possible to borrow money from you? For the subway?"

Josh could have kicked himself. He'd spent the last two months wondering how he could get Emery to accept having at least a little money of his own. Since no bright ideas had sprung to mind he'd put it off multiple times, convinced he still had time while Emery was stuck at home. This — Emery feeling forced to ask — was the result.

And an office clerk? No wonder he was so dispirited. To have his skill, his intelligence, his level of passion for something and to then have all that taken away... "Emery... Do you need to leave now, or do you have some time?"

"I have an hour still."

"Can we talk?"

"Of course." Emery stood a little straighter, shoulders squared as if he were expecting the upcoming conversation to come as a blow. Maybe he was.

Josh gestured to the sofa. "The freezer's not going anywhere; I'll finish it while you're out."

Emery said nothing, posture stiff. Sitting in front of him, Josh resisted the urge to lay a hand on his forearm; he'd been doing too much of that lately as it stood, and it wouldn't do to wrinkle the suit. "I'm not trying to start a fight. I'm not going to try to force you to do things my way — I just want you to consider what I'm saying. Okay?"

Emery nodded, eyes guarded. If he was already so defensive even before Josh started, then he feared nothing good would come of this monologue masquerading as a conversation.

"Of course you can have the subway money. I've been trying to think of a way you'd let me just set up an account for you and be done with it, but you're a stubborn mule and I can't figure out how to get around that. If you could read that as me paying you off so I wouldn't have to think about it anymore, it'd be appreciated."