Utterly Forgettable | MM Romance | Complete

Forty-Five: You Know Nothing 4/4

After what seemed like an interminable length of time the door opened again, Emery holding Josh's jacket in his outstretched hand, imposing unnecessary distance between them. His expressive brown eyes were despondent; he sounded a little broken when he said, "Your jacket. I was about to text you."

Voicing things was always Josh's downfall. This time he had to start with an action he couldn't take back. He took his jacket only to let it fall to the floor without a second glance, stepping closer until he'd all but collided with Emery.

Still he didn't stop.

He caught Emery by the sides of his waist as he walked them both further into the room. The door hung wide open, but Josh was far past the point of worrying about inconsequential details.

He didn't think to stop until Emery was pinned to the wall, staring at him wide-eyed. His lips were slightly parted and his arms shook, half raised, as if he couldn't decide whether or not to touch Josh. Josh himself had no such qualms, high on the feeling of finally being this close, drunk on the warmth of skin beneath his palms, where he'd slid his hands just underneath the crisp white shirt.

"All this time," he said in a quiet tone that belied the fierceness of his feelings, "I thought you'd been treating me like a whore that night. But it wasn't a whore — it was a witch. Somehow you thought it'd make sense, to weigh me down with rocks and throw me in the river. What was the logic? If I floated I was guilty, and if I drowned I was innocent but out of the picture anyway?"

Emery's breath was tremulous, eyes fixed on Josh's unwavering gaze. Josh didn't give him a chance to reply. "I'm not guilty," he leaned forward, "but I'm done drowning."

Josh could almost taste the kiss he'd been dreaming of for years. But, even as Josh had been holding him and all but declaring his love, Emery had been shocked beyond sound. Beyond movement. His last words had been about a forgotten jacket. What if... "Did I miss my chance?"

He barely recognized his own voice, the icy fingers of dread that clutched tightly around his heart making his vision blur. Maybe love wouldn't be enough, not after everything Josh had put Emery through. His decision to let himself be so willingly vulnerable might not even matter, in the end.

But Emery was worth the risk.

"Emery?" Please let there still be time. "Am I too late?"

"Josh," Emery uttered, wide eyes flooding. "You could never be too late."

The wave of relief that crashed over him was so powerful he had no idea how he was still standing. He took his hands from Emery's waist, cupping his face on both sides, thumbs sliding underneath his glasses to gently wipe away his tears. Their first brush of lips was slow, a promise of what was to come.

Getting to kiss Emery after so long spent picturing it was like drawing breath. He'd wanted it for so long, told himself he'd never have it for so long and now the reality of it was here, and whatever he'd imagined paled before it. Emery pressed against him with a sob, arms encircling Josh at last.

Words were still not coming easily to Josh; he hoped he could make Emery feel the depth of his devotion in his kisses, his touches, the smile that had taken up residence on his face. Kissing someone wasn't the easiest thing in the world when you couldn't stop smiling, he discovered.

He'd touched Emery often, but not like this. Not without the pretense of indifference, the façade of easy friendship covering the deep-abiding love that had lived inside him for so long.

Josh wanted to give him the world.

The sound of the elevator moving brought him back to reality, reminding him of the open door and his jacket on the floor. He broke from Emery for just long enough to retrieve it and shut the door, a monumental show of willpower. When he turned back, jacket in hand, Emery's eyes had lost their smile, his shoulders burdened by an invisible weight. Emery hadn't been sure they'd be on the same side of the door once Josh closed it.