Utterly Forgettable | MM Romance | Complete

Forty-One: I Wouldn't Tolerate Any Behavior I Didn't Welcome 2/2

"You're not even going to consider that," Josh said mutinously the instant they stepped out of the studio apartment. Studio was an accurate description, in the same way a butter knife could be termed a machete.

Emery looked composed, despite the disappointment lingering behind his expressive brown eyes. "It's undeniably the most affordable option we've seen so far—"

"It's a basement with no daylight and a toilet in the corner with no walls," Josh interrupted, feeling his temper rise. He'd be damned if he'd see Emery move out to live in a place that dismal. "And I'm not completely sure you could even flush the thing without flooding the place. I swear, if you move there I'm going to sit on your doorstep with a portable desk and a sign saying 'this place is unfit for human life — change my mind'."

Emery threw his head back and laughed, the way that made his eyes light up. Josh loved that laugh. "Are you certain I wouldn't be setting a new trend, though? An 'open space bathroom'?"

Josh laughed in turn, relieved that Emery was done considering the so-called-studio. "Yeah, well, do you want to be a trendsetter, or be able to use the bathroom when you have someone over?"

"I see your point. The second option does appear to hold more merit." Emery straightened his tie and jacket, squaring his shoulders before asking, "What's next on our list?"

"Today? Or should I say, tonight? Burgers. That's what's next on our list."

"Didn't we have another viewing after this one?" Emery's brow furrowed in thought. Damn the man and his memory.

"We did," Josh admitted, "but I just texted to cancel. I'm making the executive decision to not go and see any place that doesn't have pictures. If they're so keen on renting they can post the damn pictures. It's what we should have done in the first place, but I let you steer me wrong."

"We might miss something worthwhile," Emery began, only for Josh to interrupt him again.

"The only thing we might miss is the time we waste visiting. Pictures. Actual pictures. Of the place they're putting on the market — no more 'sister unit' crap either." He didn't modulate his voice when he grumbled under his breath, "Here, have some pictures of our fully renovated sister unit and have a nice life living with the paint peeling from the walls and the mould covering every square inch in your unit. Mushrooms optional."

Emery raised his hands in mock surrender. "I concede. You're the one with experience, after all."

"The first one we saw yesterday might work, if you're up for living in a corridor," Josh carried on, heedless of Emery's admission of defeat. "The ad did say it had enough room to store your bicycle; it just never mentioned you were expected to sleep standing up next to it."

"I've already announced my capitulation. I shall follow your lead."

"Good. I'm leading you right to some burgers." Josh ran a quick search on his phone, wondering where they might go, then realized he didn't want to spend another minute close to the Basement Of Doom and put it back in his pocket. "Any suggestions?"

"Am I allowed to make them?" Emery sounded amused. At Josh's expense, of course. "You've been so assertive I've begun to fear for my life, should I voice a contrary opinion."

"Insult me for looking out for you, why don't you?" It was easier to talk to Emery as if he were Mark, in the same lighthearted manner, than to say something flippant like 'I'd love nothing better than to spend the whole day listening to your opinions, contrary or not'. Josh's heart clenched.

"Burgers, you say." Emery proved to be the grown-up by not raising up to the challenge. "Kate mentioned a new restaurant had opened just around the corner from us — would you like to try it?"

Josh wracked his brain. "Kate?"

"Ethan's mother?" At Josh's blank look Emery threw his hands in the air. "Ethan is the teenager you gave your old tent to, last month? The one I've been tutoring for months, whose mother has been your neighbor for years? How do you not know any of the people who surround you?"

Oh! So that's what his neighbor was called. The one who'd baked the cookies on the ill-fated night of the marinara sauce. "Did she say whether the burgers were any good?"

"I was left with the distinct impression she was hoping we'd try them first and let her know."

The new place turned out to be a tastefully decorated and surprisingly intimate gourmet burgers restaurant. Neither of them had been there before; Josh was sure it'd raise all the wrong kinds of flags if he were to turn tail and run once he saw the secluded booths and the dim lighting. It'd be a lovely spot to have a heart to heart with someone, which made it all the more uncomfortable in light of the man he was trying to be.

This would have been a good place to bring Emery if they were celebrating something. For all his inattention to faces and names of anyone who wasn't his client, Josh had a thing for dates. Two days before had been the fourth anniversary of the exact moment he'd realized he'd fallen in love with Emery. Over burgers as well, with strawberry milkshake, listening to Emery wax lyrical about math. Why he'd decided to have burgers today specifically was one of his many forms of masochism; the universe had laughed in his face by putting a place like this right in their path.

And now here they were, four years (and two damn days) down the road, and Josh was still hung up on every word Emery said. Except now he couldn't picture any kind of future for the two of them that didn't involve this ever-present ache that tore him up from the inside. Now he couldn't even—

"Josh?" Emery's voice was laced with concern. "You seem very far away. Would you prefer we get our order to go?"

Every muscle in his face was strained from the smile he willed into existence. "No, sorry." Damn it all, he wasn't going be chased out of a stupid restaurant. "Just thinking."

"Anything you feel like sharing?"

"You, actually, and how I've been treating you." Sometimes the truth made for the best lies.

Emery raised a single eyebrow. "May I inquire how it is you feel you've been treating me?"

"Like I know better than you where you want to live. If you want me to back off, I will."

The corners of Emery's lips curved upwards, something pained and wistful in the depths of his expressive brown eyes. "You know me better than any other living person, Josh." Josh's heart clenched at the realization that Emery's statement was the simple truth. "Enough to know I wouldn't tolerate any behavior I didn't welcome. If I wanted you to back off, you would know that already."

Josh smiled, or grimaced, or rearranged his face into a deathmask. Most likely a combination of all three. His hand twitched with the impulse to reach for Emery's, making him compensate by grabbing his phone. Eventually he settled for browsing further apartments for rent, pointing out the ones they might want to visit. His voice was too loud, his gestures too wide, and he was one step away from chewing with his mouth open. Emery probably thought he'd been replaced by a defective clone, but it beat the alternative.

He was hard-pressed, once their meal was finished, to decide whether the food was any good.