Soul Mate Service (boyxboy)

Chapter 4

Thaddeus

"Bro, that's completely fucked."

I grumbled out in annoyance, sitting down at a table across from Mitty and chucking my lunch bag on top of it. Our Construction Unit Training had been pretty uneventful and boring so far, mostly just consisting of basic orientations, and now Lunch Period had just begun. 

"Trust me, I fucking know. I'm convinced that it has to be some kind of fucked up joke, but I'm definitely not laughing." I replied angrily, pressing an irritated thumb and forefinger to my eyes.

"I don't think that the Elders have ever made a fake Soulmate pairing as a joke." my best friend pointed out, unwrapping what looked like a chicken sandwich. 

"Well, what other fuckin' explanation could there be? The Elders can't really expect me to be with that. I mean, look at me." I stated matter-of-factly, gesturing along my body.

"...I'm looking." Mit grinned as he chewed a bite of his sandwich, his green eyes glinting with amusement while he glanced over at my sulking form. "...And I don't see anything special." 

"Oh shut the fuck up, you dick. I don't need your approval to know that I'm hot as hell." I retorted with a crooked grin and a wiggle of my brows, simultaneously flipping him the bird. 

"Yeah, if hot as hell means that you belong there, seeing as to how you're basically Satan." Mitty muttered under his breath before taking another bite of his sandwich and pointing the half-eaten thing at me as he continued.

"Well, it's probably not a joke but maybe the Elders finally caught wind of the fact that you're a cocky piece of shit, and this is their revenge, muahaha!" His words and fake evil laugh were muffled from the large quantity of chicken that he tried to speak around. "If that's really the case, can't say that I blame them. With all due respect my guy, you could stand to get knocked down a few pegs." 

I narrowed my eyes a bit at him but didn't retaliate, knowing deep down that he wasn't necessarily wrong. I knew that I was a bit cockier than the average person, but it was justified because I was, in fact, better than the average person. Not my fault that people got angry when I showed that I knew it. 

"Okay but seriously, just because the fucker might look feminine enough to be a girl doesn't erase the fact that he's a guy, meaning that he has a dick." I emphasized the last word, trying to get Mit to stop trying to stage some intervention for my vanity and focus on the more important matter at hand. 

"The Enforcers will have to beat me black and blue before I touch another dude like that, that's just... ugh." I blanched, not even wanting to consider the possibility of having to touch another man in any kind of sexual manner. In my mind, even the thought of it was simply revolting. 

"But you know what, I've had enough of talking about all of this." I said, all too eager to get the disgusting thoughts out of my head. "Let's talk about you, my man! How are you and your lucky lady? What's her name... like Audrey or something?" I asked as I leaned forward in my chair, grinning across the table at Mit and pulling my lunch bag into my lap just as my stomach began to growl hungrily. 

Yeah, I was definitely regretting skipping breakfast. 

"It's Andrea, and let's just say... she ain't a prude." Mitty wigged his eyebrows suggestively, taking another bite of his sandwich. I grinned wider as I immediately picked up what he was putting down.