Chapter 24: Incentive
EASIER AND EASIER AND EASIER. Her hand curled into a fist and she brought it down onto her lap. She had thought it would become better as time passed, so that she could at least hold out till the Delegates found a way to get it out of her. Not that Leone and Janna looked like they were doing anything. But to think that she'd be so... taken in by the Demon? She slammed a fist against the hard floor. What the hell am I doing? What the hell are the Delegates doing?
The knife started to spin faster, revolving on top of an invisible axis. Darkness clouded her vision. It wrapped around her with greedy fingers, mummifying her every inch as if she could be devoured into the blackness. And when she lifted her nose she could smell the fear in the room, and with another sense she couldn't name, she felt the heavy staleness that meant that it was close to being gone. She wanted to stand and go bounding after that last remnant, follow the trail, go to the source, and then make everything fresh again.
But that wasn't what she wanted. Her mind went back to that question: What the hell am I doing? What am I doing, giving in? She wanted to go to the Delegates, demand why it was taking so long, tell them that no, I cannot wait, do it now or I'll leave.
She snapped open her eyes, and when she was only met with an opaque darkness she almost screamed in frustration, and then when she tried to inhale she breathed in inky blackness instead, tearing at her throat and clogging her airways so she bent over and hacked it out, fingers clawing at nothing to search for something to hold on to. But she knew she'd get nowhere like this. It came from inside, so she had to stop it from inside.
And again, like in all of Leone and Janna's training sessions, she delved deep into her own mind – I'm used to it already; maybe this is what Daniel feels whenever he does this to someone else – and though there was no up or down, she knew where to go. It wasn’t control, because the minute her walls cracked again everything would come roaring out, stronger than before. And it was precarious. Without the silence, or with someone touching her or talking to her, she wouldn’t have been able to shove it back down. Concentration was key. And because of that it got harder and harder to do it again every time it happened.
Sitting straighter, she tried to get her breathing back to something that was relatively steady and calm. Then again, if she thought back on it, if she could beat it down and shove it back in that little box, did that mean that she was more aggressive than the Demon could ever be? And what does that say about me? That I'm a monster, just like the Demon is a monster?
The knife dropped, and she caught it just before it touched the floor, hissing when the blade cut a red line across her palm. She flipped it over and caught her own reflection in the shiny metal again. Her eyes were as grey as a storm. Good. Now... Setting the dagger down, she stood and walked out the door. Dinner was over, and Sol was going to check on her training room soon. She wanted to be back before then.
Finding Leone was easy. She stopped by Daniel's bedroom, and found the Delegate exchanging her goodnights with Daniel. The green eyed boy smiled and nodded before closing the door and Amber waited a few steps away, till Leone reached her.
"When can you get the Demon out of me?" she asked the second the Delegate got within earshot.
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Fantasy((Originally, Phoenix)) “Leave me alone!” Her form flickered in the dim light. The brothers shared a look. “All right,” one started. “Just let us say something first. We know you have powers; we can sense them on you. We can do this because we have...
