Lunatics {Book 1 ✔️}

A/N

Hello my loves!!! If you're reading this, then you've either just finished or have already finished Lunatics. (Thanks for that btw love you all) The completed sequel, Luminary, has now been posted to my account.

Here's a little snippet from one of the upcoming chapters in Luminary!

My mom was crying again- but she was always crying lately.

I could hear her down the hallway, through my door and the walls. Her sobs filtered throughout the entire house. Tears poured down the banister, cries echoed the halls. Slipping out of my bed like I'd done every night for the past week, I padded down the hallway toward her room.

Every night she cried, and every night I walked down the hallway only to find that Harry was already there. So, like last night and the night before, I stood outside her room listening quietly.

"Mom," Harry soothed, "It's gonna be okay."

"No," she whispered, "it's not. He's never coming back."

The words that caused my mother so much pain to say, filled me with relief. The official word on his death was a heart attack, but it wasn't true. Nothing that I'd said in the last week had been true.

I wondered if she knew- if she could tell. Did she know that her fiancé was murdered? Did she know that her daughter was the one who killed him?

I killed him. Me.

As Harry shushed our mother and comforted her, while I stood outside like a coward never able to go inside. Tonight was no different. I wasn't sure how long I stood listening to her crying, but eventually, I walked numbly back into my bedroom. I was colder under the blankets than I was outside of them and I hoped for a long sleep.

These days, I never wanted to wake up- even my nightmares were better than reality.

My eyes were just about to close when there was a rapping at my window. The hair on my neck prickled and my senses were suddenly on full alert. Power rushed through me as I inadvertently sent out pulses of energy, revealing a familiar boy outside of my window.

He gave me a small smile when I opened the window.

"Why the hell are you in my tree?" I asked my best friend.

He rolled his eyes and climbed past me into my bedroom, his blue eyes twinkling. I hadn't seen him- or any of his family since I'd last seen Owein. I shivered at the memory.

"You haven't answered any of my calls."

I shrugged and turned away. "I didn't have anything to say."

Benjamin Joy had a habit of making himself comfortable in my bedroom and he did so now. In only a moment, his shoes were kicked off and he was sprawled across my mattress, his long legs almost hanging off the end. His curly hair had grown long and the ends were tickling his dark lashes. But he looked healthy. Clean.

"Bullshit," he said simply, "you have plenty to say."

I hugged my arms around myself, feeling very exposed despite the sweats I had on. My mother's sobs still echoed through the house and I wondered if they pounded in his head like they did mine.

"No, I don't."

Ben sat up on my bed, the blankets scrunching up under him. He reached for my hand but I flinched away from it. His eyes narrowed at the action and I did my best to smooth my features out.

How could I explain the way my powers and abilities were running rampant? How could I explain the jump I'd taken and what it meant?

I couldn't.

Instead, to appease him, I sat on the edge of the bed only a few feet away from him but definitely not touching. His light eyes cut sharply into my gray ones and I knew he could see the secrets I was trying to hide.

"You know I'm not angry, right?" He asked and I nodded. "Everything you did- what you had to do- you saved my brother's life and probably mine too."

I swallowed thickly. But at what cost, I wanted to ask.

"Did he tell you what Owein said?" I asked. "Right before he was going to kill him...did he tell you?"

Ben nodded.

I drew in a sharp breath. So my best friend knew what I'd done to his family.

"Your mother," I whispered, "she's alive. Owein knew where she was and I-"

The words killed him got stuck in my throat but Ben knew what I couldn't say. He reached for my hand and this time I let our skin make contact. Terror filled me and I ripped my hand away quickly, the fear slowly seeped out. I didn't know if my abilities were telling me to be afraid of Ben or for him.

For once, I wanted to sense something not evil.

"There's no reason to believe that what he was saying is true," Ben said, thinking out loud. "It was Owein. He would've said anything to throw my brother off his game. He could've just been trying to get a rise out of him."

I didn't believe that. I don't think Ben believed it either.

"You're not an evil person, Lou. He was going to kill Tucker," the name shocked me and Ben seemed to notice and his voice softened, "you saved my family."

I shook my head, tears forming in my eyes.

"By destroying it again."

Ben wrapped his arms around me and enveloped me in his arms. There was no warmth in his arms. I felt no protection. I felt nothing.

Ben was wrong, I thought as we sat embracing each other for a long time. He said I wasn't an evil person, but that wasn't true anymore. Was it?

I'd taken the jump, willingly, into the darkness. I saw the visions of blood flooding the streets, bodies littering the forests, and flames engulfing the screams of the people I loved. Those were the images that visited me in the darkness.

I watched them as they all sank deep into my consciousness, as they'd become a part of me now. So even when I was sitting in bed, in my best friend's arms, when I closed my eyes all I saw was blood, death, and fire.

There was always one person at the center of the visions- one person with her arms outstretched covered in blood, walking through the dead, standing in the flames. She had chosen the darkness and the power and thrill that it gave her.

She was evil.

I wasn't sure how much of her was me and how much of me was her. But we were connected.