The Lies We Tell

Chapter 8

With a last glance at my car, I unlocked my front door. I wanted to got back to those bleachers to hear more of what those girls had to say, but I needed to get my homework done, as well as try to work on my next video.

I made my way to my bedroom, trying to ignore the sadness filling the silence. I pulled out my books and sat at my desk. It only took a couple of minutes to know I wouldn't be able to focus on my notes or any of those graphs. I sighed and opened my laptop, figuring I might as well try to work on something, be productive somehow, by trying to edit some video bits I'd already made. Again, it was pointless. I wasn't going to try writing. After all, if I couldn't focus on any of those other things, I wouldn't be able to focus on that, either.

I felt drained. Everything I needed to do felt like it would be a strain to actually do them. Lying on my bed wasn't productive either, but it was all I felt like I could do. So I stood and flopped down on it.

Instead of staring at the ceiling, I pulled out my phone to scroll through my Twitter. I actually had a verified page. I remember when that first happened. I was so excited. I checked my follower count. Over 1 million. I really didn't know why anyone followed me.  I never went anywhere or did anything. I didn't even have this many subscribers on YouTube, and not nearly this many views.

I opened a new Tweet and typed, "Crap day, but things always get better!" I added a few emojis at the end and a hashtag, then hit Tweet. Within a few minutes I had likes and comments rolling in. I rarely posted about my bad days, but with all of the positive comments that came in, maybe I should post about them more.

After replying to a few of my followers, Ryan commented on my post. My heart did a little flip as I scrolled up to read it. "Missed me that much, huh?" was what he said with a laughing emoji at the end.

I took a few deep breaths before replying. "You wish!" I said, adding a winking face with the tongue sticking out and a kissy face.

I kept waiting for him to reply, but he didn't. Instead, I got a DM on Instagram. "Did you miss me?" Ryan asked.

I nervously bit down on lip and typed a reply. "Of course."

Right after it sent, it said he read it. So he was waiting for my answer. The dots that meant he was typing came up and after a minute they disappeared. He did that a few times and finally he sent, "I didn't think you would." He added a sad emoji.

Now I felt bad. Frowning, I slowly began to type, "Would you like to come over?" I quickly erased that and instead sent, "Why wouldn't I miss you?"

It was only a minute before he replied, but it felt like forever. "Just didn't think you would after what happened."

I gnawed on my lip, trying to figure out how to salvage this. "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. It just wasn't a good time for me."

"I get that," he replied, following up with, "I like you, Evelyn."

I barely contained my squeal when I saw that. "I like you, too."

"Do you have any plans this weekend?"

My heart skipped several beats. "Just with you." I added a winking face at the end.

"In that case, how about we grab a burger after school Friday and a movie Saturday?"

I couldn't help the stupid grin that took over as I read that. "Okay." Courtney would just have to forgive me.

---

Riley and Mary sat across from me, staring. Ryan shifted uncomfortably next to me. My nerves were so shot from the attention and from Ryan sitting next to me that I nearly missed my mouth with my fork. Ryan chuckled quietly to himself before leaning closer to me. "You need to calm down before you stab yourself," he said in a breathy voice.

I barely managed to suppress a shiver at that. I loved that sound. Still, I gave him a slight shove. "Shut it," I mumbled, making him laugh.

The chatter in the room suddenly died. A shadow fell across the table. I looked up and Courtney was standing there. Her arms were crossed. Everyone in the cafeteria was looking at us. I was a little scared. While I was popular, she was even more so. The entire student body sucked up to her but all I had on my side were gossips. She could ruin me at this school with just a few words.

I took a deep breath. "Hi, Courtney," I said in a monotone.

"Hi, Evelyn," she said in a sweet voice, but there was steel behind her words. She took a moment to survey our table before resting her narrowed eyes on Ryan. "Ry! What are you doing over here with these losers?"

"Losers?" Riley said, obviously getting angry. Mary grabbed her arm.

"I just felt like sitting here," he replied, not looking at her.

"Why?"

"Because I do."

She walked over to him and grabbed his shoulder. "You shouldn't be sitting here. You should be sitting with us. You know, your friends. Decent people."

"Decent?!" Mary yanked Riley back down into her seat.

"You're not my mother," Ryan said.

"Maybe not, but I am your girlfriend." And there it was. The confirmation everyone had been waiting for.

I slid a little farther away from Ryan, but he still leaned closer to me. "I'm sorry," he whispered. He pat my arm and stood.

Courtney watched smugly as he walked back towards his usual table. She turned to me with the same look and said quietly, "Watch your back."

"You need to watch your mouth." I grabbed my tray and stood. She was staring at me confused. "Wonder what the Goodwill people would think if they saw you now," I told her as I walked past. Her expression changed from smug to barely concealed anger. I made sure to keep my face blank as I dumped my unfinished food and left my tray.

The whole way over I heard the other kids start whispering and talking. Words I didn't let myself think about. Words I didn't let myself hear. Words that would still be echoing in my head later that night.

I had to get away. I burst through the doors, letting them slam shut behind me. Miranda would be in the library, studying. The one place I knew I wouldn't find judgement. The person I needed to apologize to before my words made their way back to her and her friends.

I kept repeating to myself that things were fine. Things would be fine.

I just made a huge mess, didn't I?