Letters from a Friend

self-esteem, confidence and self-love

Self-esteem , confidence and self-love

All of what I have said above are different things, though they are all connected. Your self-esteem is usually hidden though it can present itself through your words and sometimes what you decide to wear, confidence is related to this as confidence is how you represent your self-esteem , though this can also be fabricated and you could always pretend to be confident for the rest of the world, this won't help your self-esteem though and self-love. Self-love is in my opinion the most important of them all. This is because without self-love and self acceptance, self-esteem can only go so far.

We all have self-esteem and we all have confidence , We just all have different levels of it. Self-love is possible to disappear however. There are times where we don't see any good in ourselves and we can't find anything to compliment. When we feel this way it can be vert difficult to get yourself out of this feeling. Sometimes we aren't effected as much , though we still cannot compliment ourselves, we just go on with life. On the other hand there are times when it's all we can think about and our lack of self-love effects our days.

This is of course a rant-I mean a helpful blog post- and you aren't here for me to talk about these three features so i'm going to do what I enjoy doing , attempt to make people happy, smile and feel positive! What I am about to say is the truth, even though I also have those times where my self-esteem hits the floor, I believe that everyone is born beautiful. There is the saying that 'it is what is inside that counts' and I almost completely believe with that. Yes your personality and your kindness and caring nature is internal. Your intelligence, kindness, consideration, feelings, and other positive attributes of the like are internal.

Where I disagree with the statement is that it doesn't mention that these internal attributes can be shown on the outside. A kind and gentle hand, a soft and caring voice which can soothe and calm someone down, a happy and joyful smile. I have probably said these things and someone popped into your mind. This is how internal beauty can be shown on the outside. If you have a beautiful inside then it is guaranteed to be shown on the outside.

This is what makes everyone beautiful in my opinion . When I look at a picture of someone my automatic response is to look at their mouths to see fi they are smiling, then the eyes to see if there is joy , happiness, kindness or any other beautiful feature like that represented in the photograph. Of course there are times when there is none of this , due to the purposeful aesthetic of photographs. That has lead me nicely to my next topic , or section of this topic

Everyone is unique, there is no two people who look exactly alike, have the same thoughts and have the same experiences. This in itself is beautiful to me. You are entirely unique, some look at pictures of models and long to be just like them. Being a carbon copy of anyone wouldn't make you happy though, you would not be your wonderful self. What is hidden behind magazine covers and Instagram profiles is not always a wonderful life. It is a life that you were not meant to have or picked for.

You were picked to be a strong individual who grows everyday against the struggles of life. You have been put into your position because the universe or higher power or fate knows that you will have the power to shine . Like a ball of light inside an egg. In your day-to-day life your light becomes stronger and dimmer depending on your confidence, your self-esteem and your self-love.

feeding and caring for this light is honestly necessary for you to be completely happy, being happy in yourself is a beautiful thing. Allowing yourself to make the light shine bright, even in the dark, will help you become a beacon for others. Sometimes the light will hide back inside the egg, It is at those times where you need to remind yourself how perfect the light is. It can be difficult and take more or less time from experience to experience. Though I know that you can work your way through this.

The only person that you should compare yourself to was the person that you were yesterday. Did you feel more positive yesterday? did you feel happier yesterday? Why is that? Did you smile brighter yesterday? Were you at peace with yourself? Yesterday doesn't always mean the day before today, it could refer to any previous point in your life. Perhaps you visualise a child running and giggling, happy at the freedom that they feel. In which case, what's stopping you from being free and having the happiness that the younger you had?

When I write these posts, I like to put a few of my own experiences in . Just to show as some examples and that I can mostly understand feeling down and having low self-esteem. Of course I cannot completely understand your unique situation. Though I hope reading some of my experiences could help you. If you're not interested in my own experiences...skip the next paragraph, if you're interested then please read !

I have always had relatively low self-esteem. I was ,and am, quite a big person and with my medical condition, I couldn't really do a lot of exercise to keep myself fit. I couldn't easily run nor could I ride a bike, I was the loner and weirdo in school . Though I was honestly happy, I sat in the corner and played with my dolls ...then when I went to secondary school , I was happy to read by myself in the library. It got to the point around eight years ago I got concerned with my health and my body image. This was when I was twelve. I stopped eating sweets, I started to eat salads. I watched supersize vs superskinny and that made me happy. When I saw I was losing weight I kept striving to lose more. Though I never got to a normal weight. That was a slightly obsessive time for me, I would refuse any and all sweets and i'm glad I went through that time because that made me who I am today. I'm still a self-conscious weirdo who is the one that sits in the corner at parties -unless my song comes on!- Though i'm much happier as I have accepted my weirdness and strangeness and I have accepted what makes me happy. I enjoy when I make other people happy or smile and I think that is one of my best qualities. The dark doesn't seem that dark when there's a light right next to it.

Now as my concluding paragraph as I have written much more then I was supposed to . I want you to know that you and your actions are beautiful, wonderful and fantastic. Kindness and happiness shines brightly through the shell of our physical appearances. We all present ourselves differently, we may not always be someone's cup of tea but that doesn't mean that we need to change in order to please others. We're all receivers and producers of light. If your light is dim let me or other's strengthen your light. Also be a source of light for others. Spread your happiness and self-love to those who you interact with daily. Perhaps if you are to compliment someone try using phrases such as "I love the happiness in your smile" or "that piece of clothing really suits your personality". Remember a flower can't always see it's own beauty but yet it blooms with spectacular beauty for the world to see. Our beauty isn't entirely obvious to us but it doesn't mean it's not there for the world to see and love. If you are given a compliment, try not to shrug it off. Try pending on what the person means and allow the light that they are providing you to make yours spark bright.

take care, sending love, light and Happiness

remember you're beautiful

Nadine