Unexpected

15.

I followed Ashton into the familiar hospital. Out of instinct i tried to look for my mother when we passed the cafeteria. I quickly stopped looking when i realised that i was being stupid because my mother wasn't working right now.

He led me into his office. It looked very clean and fresh. There was a grey couch in the back and they were two comfy chairs infront of his desk.

Ashton went to sit behind his desk, turned his computer on and grabbed a notebook.

I sat down on one of the chairs as he did that. I felt vulnerable in this place and i hated that.

"I first want to talk about the relation you had with your parents before the accident happend. Could you tell me a little bit about that?" He said in a polite tone.

"There's not much to tell. My mom and dad were always working so a nanny took care of me until i was around 11. After that i took care of myself and my brother."

He nodded understandably and wrote something down. "Do have the feeling that you missed out on your childhood because of that."

I thought about that question for a while because i had never really thought about that.

"No, i just got the share mine with Jack but i definitely didn't miss out." I said unsure of that was the truth.

"I want to ask a few questions about the car accident. Do you feel comfortable enough to tell me with happend that day?" He asked friendly.

I appreciated that he made sure that i was comfortable, my old therapist never did that. He would ask me really uncomfortable questions and would get mad if i refused to answer them.

"It's fine, i don't mind telling what happend."

That was the truth, dr Sherman made me tell the story every week. I hated doing that but i did help me in the end, i could now think back about it without feeling sad or anxious.

"My dad had to pick my up from school because i..uhm..broke some rules. We got into an argument during the drive home. Both us weren't really focused on the road. A truck hit the car causing us to flip over." I layed my hand on my shoulder, remembering the pain i felt there when it happend.

"My dad was unconscious and bleeding. I wanted to wake him up but i couldn't. I lost consciousness after a few mintues."

"What happend afther the accident had found place?" Aston asked with a fully focused face.

"I was brought into the hospital where they had to perform a emergency surgery on my shoulder. My mom told me about my dad when i woke up from the surgery." I said not once making eye contact with Ashton.

"What was that like for you?"

I sighed, i had heard that question so may times and i still didn't know the answer.

"I don't know, i think that it was shock first then anger towards me and my mom and after that i just felt sad."

"Why were you mad at yourself and your mom?"

"I was mad at myself for making trouble at school and for not being able to help my father during the accident. And i was mad at my mom for leaving me alone."

I could tell that that last part caught him off guard. In his eyes my mother was the perfect, sweet mother.

"What do mean by leaving you alone?"

"I had to stay a month in the hospital. I needed another surgery and i had to do physical therapy for my shoulder. She never visited me during this time. I couldn't even be present at my dad's funeral. "

He was silent for a second.

"She really left you alone?" He questioned.

It hurted me to hear that he doubted the things i had said.

"Yes she did." I said while i looked him straight in his eyes.

He had let go of his pen and paper. "Why would she do that?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "She needed time to sort out her emotions. She also said that that hospital was a constant reminder of her dead husband. That's why we moved as soon as i was released."

Ashton rubbed his eyes. I kinda felt bad for ruining his perfect view of my mother.

"But it wasn't as bad at it sounds. She got me therapy when i was released and i didn't mind being alone."

"You don't need to lie to me."

I looked at my shoes. I didn't have an anwer for that.

Just when we had finished or conversation someone knocked on the door.

Ashton let the person in, it was an older man who i assumed was one of his colleagues.

The man moved to Ashton's desk and he trew a pile paper infront of him.

Before i knew it they were both completely focused on the papers, discussing about whatever was written in them.

I quickly slipped out of the room, unsure of what my plan was.

I didn't want to leave the hospital because then Ashron would probably flip out so i just wondered around the empty halls.

I walked past Michael's office and saw my mom talking with him. I looked around the hallway to see if anyone was there but the hall was completely empty.

I stepped closer to the door and put my ear against it. They were talking loud enough for me to hear them.

"Are you sure that this is the right decision?" Michael asked in a serious voice.

"Yes-" my mom said. I could hear in her voice that she had been crying. "-I think that not under going treatment is the right choice."

My heart skipped a beat when she said that. Was she serious?

Michael continued to speak. "I just want you to know that you still have a 40% chance of recovery when you do accept the treatment."

My mom was quiet for a second.

"I know but that isn't enough for me. As a nurse I've seen a lot of people face this battle and it was horrible to see them suffer. I don't want my kids to see me like that. I don't want them to remember me sick in hospital bed."

"Are you planning on telling them your decision?" Michael asked.

"Yes but i just need to find the right time to do so." She said in a soft voice.

"I recommend that you do this as soon as possible-"

I stepped away from the door. I couldn't bear to listen to another word. My mother had lied to me. She wasn't getting better. She was going to leave me.