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It's a normal thing this time of year. Stress. Anxiety. Fear of failure. And everything just seems to add up more and more until you reach your limit and you feel like your skin is boiling because of your stress. But that's just a metaphor. Normal kids feel normal levels of stress, but I feel especially on edge as of recent.
I don't know if it's because of our upcoming live show. Or maybe because of the thing I have yet to tell Hiiragi. Maybe it's Yuki. It's better for me not to show any signs of weaknesses in this household though. One child killing themselves is enough to put a mother in a mental hospital, but she held on for me. So the least I can do is put a brave face on in front of her.
I'm sure others have it worse than me, of course. I live a blessed life compared to others. At least I have a mom, even if I don't have a dad. At least I'm able to go to school, even if it's really rough on us financially. At least I have friends I'm able to talk to, even if I can't tell them the one important thing going on with me.
After the show. If Mafu is able to find the words for his song, than maybe I'll be able to find the words to tell Hiiragi what's going on in my head. I'm sure if others were able to read my thoughts they'd think I was crazy. And maybe I am.
There's been enough hinting at what might be going on with me. Some might already know what's going on though. Do you? Did I give enough context clues? Do you understand why I'm feeling this way? Why I'm feeling pounds and pounds of stress being dropped on my head? Do you know what I'm talking about?
My name is Yui Yoshida. I'm sixteen. And I'm pregnant.
