Mental - HyunSeungI.N.

Chapter Five

Maybe being here wasn't going to be so bad after all.

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Jeongin nervously walked down the therapy and recreational hallway, looking for the correct room. Today was Jeongin's first individual therapy session.

As Jeongin walked down the hallway, he passed by many other patients. Jeongin found it interesting that so many different people were here at the psychiatric ward. Some people looked even quite normal. 

It really showed that almost anybody could be mentally ill, even if they don't look like it.

Jeongin found the correct door and hesitantly knocked, hearing a "come in" come from the other side. Jeongin slowly opened the door and walked in, seeing a man sitting behind a desk. The man looked up at Jeongin and gave him a warm, welcoming smile. "Hi! Take a seat."

Jeongin walked into the room and shakily sat on the cushiony chair. The chair felt unusually soft. It was quite comforting.

"You're Jeongin, correct?"

Jeongin nodded, a bit nervous. "That's me."

The man smiled even wider. "Great! I'm Taehyung. I'll be your therapist for your stay here."

Jeongin nodded, averting his gaze to the floor. Jeongin was quite nervous because he didn't really know what to expect from a therapy session. It honestly kind of intimidated Jeongin.

Taehyung seemed to sense Jeongin's nervousness. "Look, Jeongin. I know it could be quite scary to come to therapy because it's pretty much facing your problems straight on. I know this because I've been in your shoes once. I'm not here to hurt you, I'm here to help. I don't want you to think of me of a therapist and you my patient, rather think of us as friends. We could get through this together. Okay?"

Jeongin slowly raised his head, locking eyes with Taehyung's welcoming gaze. Jeongin felt a bit more reassured. "Okay."

Taehyung smiled. "Good! How about we get started? Do you want to tell me a bit about yourself? Or I could go first if you want."

Jeongin moved his gaze back down the floor. "...u-uh..."

"How about I go first?"

Jeongin nodded.

Taehyung sat back in his chair. "So, I'm Taehyung and I'm from Chungji-si. I like to dance and eat many kinds of food. My favorite kinds of movies to watch are action movies. I studied psychology in college because I really want to help others. I used to suffer from really bad depression and I actually had to also go to a psychiatric ward when it got really bad. The people there really helped me and I really appreciate them, and that's what pushed me to become a therapist. Helping others is something I love to do."

Jeongin nodded. Taehyung seemed like such a good person, far from the intimidating character that he built in his thoughts.

He seemed so genuine.

"So how about you Jeongin?"

Jeongin bit his lip and drummed his fingers on his thigh. "Uh well, I'm Jeongin, I like to sing, and I really REALLY like chocolate milk."

Jeongin kind of zoned out, thinking about chocolate milk. "The taste of chocolate milk is just heavenly. It's like liquid gold. I love it."

Taehyung chuckled, Jeongin hearing him mumble a quiet "cute". Jeongin looked away embarrassed. "You probably didn't want to hear about my love for chocolate milk, sorry."

Jeongin didn't even know why he decided to say all of that. Taehyung's friendliness and reassuring aura really made Jeongin feel quite comfortable and social.

Taehyung laughed. "You don't need apologize. We all have things that we love a lot."

Jeongin let out a small nervous chuckle. "Okay."

Taehyung turned and opened a file cabinet, pulling out a file. "Anyways, now that we know a bit about each other, how about we discuss why you're here."

Jeongin nodded as Taehyung opened the file. Taehyung's eyes wandered across the page. "So, you're in here for an impulsive disorder, more specifically Kleptomania. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

Taehyung looked back up at Jeongin with a comforting look. "Could you describe to me as best as you can how it started? Only if you are comfortable, that is. If not, that is completely okay."

Jeongin thought back to when he was younger. Jeongin chuckled nervously. "Uh, sure. I think the first thing I've ever stolen something was a really expensive ring. I just remember seeing it and wanting it because it was so shiny. So I took it. After that, for some reason I just couldn't stop stealing things. It's so hard to stop. I just can't help it and it's so frustrating, but I-I always feel so g-guilty and I just can't stop and it's just so-"

Taehyung put up a hand to stop Jeongin. "Take a deep breath. You're rambling."

Jeongin slowly inhaled. He didn't even notice he was rambling.

Jeongin exhaled. "Okay. I think I'm fine now."

Taehyung nodded. "I know how frustrating it is when you know something is wrong and you can't stop it. It's unbelievably scary. I get it. But it takes work and commitment to get better. Though in the end, it will all be worth it. I'm going to help you get through this. We can get through this together. Okay?"

Jeongin took another deep breath, nodding.

Taehyung smiled. "Good. Can you tell me the last time you had gotten an urge to steal something?"

Jeongin bit his lip. "Uhh... A few hours ago actually."

"And did you act on it?"

Jeongin guiltily nodded, looking down at the floor. The tile looked very interesting right now. Jeongin shakily reached into his pocket, pulling a spoon that he stole from the cafeteria earlier out and put it on the table, the spoon clattering against the table loudly. Jeongin felt tears start to form in his eyes. "I-I did... I... I'm sorry."

Taehyung opened a drawer and pulled out a little composition book, sliding it over to Jeongin. "Jeongin. You don't have to apologize for anything. We all have to start somewhere. Between now and our next session, do you think you could write down how many times you have an impulse?"

Jeongin wiped his tears with the back of his hand. "I can do that."

"Good. Just remember, you can get through this. You just have to believe in yourself."

Jeongin looked up at Taehyung to see him give Jeongin a reassuring smile.

"You can do it. I know you can."

A/N I literally do not want to have school tomorrow. Somebody send help.

I already mentioned this in an announcement but I had an idea for a book that I might start because I want to start something that I could write something during my extra time. The problem is the concept/idea for the book requires A LOT of audience engagement and I don't even know if it would work out the way I want it to. We'll just see what happens.

hva e    g     o d   ng H                  i T

unedited