Me

December 3, 2012

December 3, 2012

This entry is basically going to apologize to everyone, FYI.

Dear Brain,

I'm sorry for everything I put you through. Old memories. Suicidal thoughts. I'm sorry for hurting you, when the past is what hurts the most.

Dear Heart,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for those jerks who broke you, left you bleeding on the ground. I'm sorry you're so hurt, so wounded. I'm sorry for giving you to guys, just to have them stab you in the back. I'm sorry. I know it hurts.

Dear Stomach,

I'm sorry for starving you. I'm sorry for the butterflies. I'm sorry you're not the skinniest. I'm sorry for everything.

Dear Pillow,

I'm sorry for all those tears. Those sleepless nights when I just cried, wanted to just vanish from earth and never return. I'm sorry for screaming into when I felt my heart break into millions of pieces yet again. Sorry.

Dear Family,

Sorry for ruining you. Sorry for being born. Sorry for asking for Christmas presents even when we were going through a hard time. Sorry for being a teenager. Sorry for falling in and out of love. Sorry for not eating, and lying to you about it. Sorry for being me.

Dear Friends,

Sorry I'm such a bitch. Sorry I'm weird. Sorry I'm not skinny or pretty. Sorry I embarrass you. Sorry, it's just who I am.

Dear Santa,

Sorry I haven't been good this year. My parents say we can't afford Christmas this year, will you still come visit us? We won't have a home, but maybe you could just stop by?

Dear God,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lie. I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm sorry that I'm me. Im your eyes, I'm probably the Devil in disguise. I'm sorry. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I don't deserve to go to heaven. I deserve to burn forever in the fiery pits of hell. Because I'm a bad person. My dad says that either I'm stupid or I'm evil. He also says he knows I'm smart, so that must mean I'm evil, right? I know you're probably ashamed of me right now. But I have one favor to ask you. If you like me even a tiny bit, then when I go to bed tonight, I won't wake up. Because that's what I deserve. I'm sorry.

Dear Wrist,

Sorry for wanting to stab you repeatedly till I bleed to death. Sorry for wanting to cut you up.

Sorry for everything.

Dear Me,

I hate you. Why are you so evil? Why are you so ugly? Why are you so fat? Why don't you just kill yourself? Whose going to miss you? You deserve it. Your family will have one less child to deal with. Everyone's life will be easier.

Why don't you just end it?