Untamed {Mature Reading}

Chapter XLII: Callum

"She's gone."

The words pierced me like a knife, though I refused to look up at the reports Angus had given me the night before sometime after Bianca had left the study. 

"I see ye have forgotten how ter knock, Alec." I kept my voice neutral, refusing emotion to colour my tone. 

"Did ye not hear me?" Alec ignored my comment, coming to stand before my desk. "Bianca is gone. I checked on her when she dinnae come down for breakfast."

I did not tell Alec that I had already known Bianca was gone. That I had gone to her room this morning only to find the chamber bare. Once I knew that temperamental mare was also missing did I put two and two together. I also did not tell Alec that I had gone to her to fix what I could of the mess I had created, to try and explain that a man like me could only dream of being worthy of a woman like her.

When I did not answer, Alec slammed his hand onto my desk, the sound loud and demanding as the heir who had caused it. "Well?" 

"An' what would ye have me do?" I finally looked up, meeting those furious green eyes of my cousin. I arched a brow. "Eh? Want me ter go after her and drag her back by her hair?" 

Alec's face twisted. "Ye know that's not what I meant." But some of the heat had cooled from his voice. However, his voice had a distinct accusatory tone when he muttered. "She left because of you." 

It was an effort to keep my emotions off my face, even when I felt a sharp pain spread across my chest. "She left because she was here against her will." The words were flat, tasteless on the tongue."So she took a horse an' left." 

The heir blew out a breath and sunk into the chair opposite me, raking his tanned fingers through his brown hair. "I find it funny how she left only after ye broke her heart." 

This time, I could not stop the pain that rose with Alec's words. The way they hit me like a physical blow - it was one thing to know that I had hurt her, but another to hear it confirmed out loud, even with all the evidence before me. 

"Are ye not happy that priestess is gone ter her own lands?" I kept my gaze on the report, despite the words all blurring into one. I must have read and re-read the same page about a million times but none of it made sense to me. "Or were ye hoping you were enough fer to stay?"

It was a low blow and I knew it. Knew that Alec looked at Bianca with a longing that could not be mistaken. He cared for her, maybe he even loved her. And the sight of the heir wearing his heart on his sleeve, of being able to openly express his feelings for her made my stomach curdle and churn with envy. 

I did not look up to see the words hit their mark, but it was Alec's quick retort that drew my gaze back to him.

"What lands?" There was an iciness to his tone. "Last I've heard, you had Angus an' yer other men butcher and burn her people an' her home to satisfy that sniveling English Lord." Alec made a disgusted sound at the back of his throat. "An' then ye let him in ter this castle, let him get ter her..." Alec trailed off, shaking his head. "Yer right, why would she stay?" 

Bile rose in my throat, thick and hot - shame. It welled in me in an all-consuming way. My grip on the report tightened, jaw locked as I tried to keep that infamous Lockhart temper at bay. 

"Careful," I growled out at last, though it was sheer will that stopped me choking on my own guilt. "Need I remind ye of the last time ye tried to stick yer beak in ter my business concerning the priestess?" I tried not to remember the fight, of the sickening crunch of where my fist met Alec's flesh, the way his body crumpled to the ground. I had a lot to feel guilty for.