9 | cutting ties

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"Can you please not be mad for once and at least try to be understanding?" Demani sighed heavily, as if my frustration with her was uncalled for

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"Can you please not be mad for once and at least try to be understanding?" Demani sighed heavily, as if my frustration with her was uncalled for.

With the last time of us even having a conversation being almost a week ago, I knew for sure that it wasn't me that was trippin.

"Be understanding about what? You deciding not to check in with me for five days?" I wasn't falling for that one. Demani would have to come harder if she thought playing the victim would somehow turn this situation into me being the bad guy.

While I wanted to be excited about hearing her voice after being both worried and missing her, that feeling failed to arise as I found myself only being irritated.

"I needed some time alone, to just...think." her tone was heavier than I expected, the uneasiness telling me that something was on her mind, causing me to ask, "Think about what, exactly?"

She sighed heavily again, as if this whole conversation was an inconvieance for her. Growing impatient, I stood from the lounge chair beneath me, deciding that sitting was only making this back and forth seem even longer when in reality my anxiety was just kicking my ass.

"Look, Micah -"
I stopped her. This was becoming all too familiar.

"You know what, it's cool. You don't even have to say it."

"Don't be mad at me." she whispered into the phone.

I shook my head as if she could see me, "I'm not mad...just disappointed. I should've listened to everyone who told me what it was wit you."

"Micah, you can't seriously mean that. I thought what we had was...matter fact, I won't even lie. I knew what we had wasn't real when you couldn't even tell me that you loved me."

"Man, whatever."

"Yeah, whatever, that's all you can say because you know that it's true. You didn't even tell me that your own mother wasn't in your life -"

"You ain't exactly ask either, Demani." I argued, "And how the fuck are you trying to use my issues with my mother against me? That ain't got shit to do with how much love I had for you."

"But it does," she drew out her last word, "You are never vulnerable with me, you fuck me - not make love to me, and it's been over a year and you still haven't said I love you. I thought I could deal with it...but this break has just shown me..."

"Shown you what?" I knew what it was at this point, but I guess I was just a glutton for punishment.

"That even though I do love you, I don't need you. I proved that to myself."

I was silent on the other end. Yeah, I was upset, but I kept my pride intact as I just shook my head and finally replied, "I'll see you aroud, Dee."

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