To The End With You

C h a p t e r S i x t y - T w o

Photo: tsar Nicholas with Maria and Olga Nikolaevna with soldiers 1917
March 1918
I get called into the main office headquarters. I have been a Bolshevik solider for a while now. They are looking for me, Valentina. They won't announce it out loud but I have sat in some meetings where they mentioned it. But I am right under their noses and they don't even know it. I sit down with Penny and Grieg we have become good friends, they sometimes invite me to going out for drinks at the pubs but I stay sober and pretend to drink, I don't want anything happening that is out of my control.

"What do you think this meeting is about?" I ask Penny and Grieg. "I am not sure maybe change of assigned placements?" He suggests as we whisper to one another. "Obviously it's about finding our replacements" Greig laughs. Penny punches him the shoulder as he stops laughing and starts rubbing his arm in pain, muttering curse words under his breath as the head commander walks in.

"With the new recruits coming in all of you aren't inexperienced anymore. Some of you have showed dedication to this party and showed that you have worked hard, with that being observed the new job assignment that you get is a reflection of the work you have been assigned" he states. I bit my nails feeling nervous. Yes I have been a 'good' Bolshevik, yes I have gotten close to the commander but what will I get? Is this where the new guards will be assigned for Yekaterinburg?

The commander starts to call random names not in any particular order except was name it says on the card. "Grigori", "Greig", "Vladimir", "Penny"..." the names keep going and going. I sit nervously, There is only two people left. Did they catch me? Did they find out I'm Valentina? I feel myself start to sweat as I am the last person in the room and the commander closes the door. "Oleg, come here"he states as I quickly jump onto my feet. "Yes sir?" I quickly stiffen as he looks at me.

"You have been absolutely exceptional ever since you got here. A model solider and comrade, from your stories from war to the way you help your fellow comrades and have helped me. You are like the son I never had." He says as he places his hand on my shoulder, "With that out of the way, I have spoken to other board members and your new position is commander" he finishes as my heart freezes, "W-what?" I stutter. "Your position will be commander" he smiles at me with pride.

"Where?!" I ask my heart about to burst out of my chest. I need Yekaterinburg, I need it. "Assigned places for commanders are still being considered, I know whatever place you will get you will do a good job, now go celebrate Oleg" the commander let's me go as I walk out the room. Penny and Grieg are waiting for me outside as they are chuckling and laughing at their cards like school boys. "Hey guys" I say, holding my card in my hand tightly. "Oh hey Oleg so what happened?" Penny asks me. "Did you get kicked out?" Grieg jokes.

"Haha, no - what job did you guys get?" I ask trying to change the subject. "We both got guard jobs in Yekaterinburg" Penny answers. "To guard the Romanov family?!" I ask quickly. "I guess yes" Penny says looking at his card. "What did you get?" Grieg asks me. I look down at my paper, "Um... I am a commander now" I mutter. Both their eyes go wide. "No way!" Penny looks at the paper and smiles, "Wow Oleg, wow!". "No way show me" Greig snatches the paper out of his hands. "We have to go celebrate with drinks!" Penny says as he gives me a side hug as I watch the obvious jealousy get to Grieg's face. "Here" he basically throws the card at me. "Congratulations" he says sarcastically.

"Thanks" I say as they- mostly Penny- drag me to town for drinks. I sit at the bar with them as they keep ordering and ordering. I end up drinking two beers while the both of them are flat out drunk, especially Grieg. I sit supervising them as Greig drunkenly mumbles. "How come you got that job? Huh? Commander," he tries to say mockingly. "I worked just as hard as you. What did you do to get that job? Did you bribe them? Are you actually a Romanov?" He slurs.

I start to get mad. I might be a Romanov but I worked for that job. I might have lied about being a solider in the war but that was only to show that o had a background in being a guard for the position that he has. "I worked for what I got Greig, so I would shut the hell up" I snap before leaving the bar. I walk home to my rented room. I pick up a news paper and when I get home I do the usual.

I take off my boots and I take off my uniform and change into my nightgown. I sit in bed and read the papers. Damn it! Still all of these rumors, "Secret third daughter, love child of the Tsarina and Rasputin confirmed?" I read all of these lies and get angry, "what the hell?" I mutter to myself. I look through the paper and more propaganda and letters twisted that mama wrote to Rasputin. I throw the newspaper onto the ground and lay down.

I am going to be a commander, I pray to god that it will be in Yekaterinburg. My eyes get heavy as I fall asleep.
***
The shots are Heard I stand with a gun point the direction of where my papa stood. I hear moans of pain, "What did you do it Valentina?", "What did we ever do to you?" The souls of my dead family circle me. "Why?!" Tatiana's soul jumps in front of me with a bullet hole in her head
***
I wake up painting. It's still dark outside. I am covered in sweat as I get out of my bed and drink some water.
"Valentina" I hear an unknown voice say in the corner of my room. I turn around and there is standing the evil Angel. Eyes as dead as I last have seen them. The embodiment of fear is standing before and I'm definitely shaking in it. "You are going to die" it steps closer to me as I hear it say through its screeching screams. "You are going to fucking die" it laughs as I cover my ears. Dropping the water onto the ground as I fall onto my knees.

The screaming is so loud, the fear I have is uncomfortable. I'm going to die. They are going to die, I don't know what I'm doing. I feel hopeless, I feel the air leaving me. I feel my heart beat get faster and faster. I'm not in my room anymore I'm in a metal box. "Help!" I scream trying to get out of it. There is no way out. I can't get out. I'm alone. I'm all alone, I feel a tear fall down my face. I'm going to die here alone.

I hear the laughs of the evil Angel get louder and louder. "Kill yourself now Valentina, there is no hope for you" I hear it say as I shut my eyes and open them. The Angel is standing in front of me, in this spinning box I am in. It smells foul. "Do it Vanya" it taunts me. I feel like giving up. I'm tired, I'm tired of it all. Tatiana's face flashes in my mind. I promised her, I promised her it all. I'm not going to give up, not for her.

I feel the half empty bottled of water next to me as I pick it up and stand up. "No!" I scream. "I'm not afraid of you! Go fuck yourself!" I spill water onto it. The Angel screams as it starts to burn away. It's agonizing screams make me cover my ears as it disappears. The room goes dark and quiet again. I pant feeling like I have run a marathon. I collapse on my bed in exhaustion, going back to sleep.