Photo: Grand Duchesses Olga, Tatiana and Maria. 1911
September 1912
I opened my eyes and saw people in a room. I felt someone holding my hand and it was Grand Duchess Tatiana praying in silence not noticing I was awake I lightly squeezed her hand since I couldn't speak. When I swallowed my saliva my throat felt sore. Tatiana turned and looked at me "Mama!"she called out. Mama, the Tsar, and Anna came to my side. "My baby!"Mama cried out in sobs. Dr Botkin came up to the bed and started to question me about my knowledge like the night I got here. "What do you remember?"he asked me. Then asking me "Do you remember who you are?". I took a deep breath and explained the situation.
Dr Botkin wrote it down and asked to speak with mama and the Tsar but before they left I saw an elderly woman looking at the Tsar in disapproval and disappointment by the window. She looked a lot like my Grandmama back in 2018. The resemblance was almost unsettling. I turned my head and looked at Tatiana,"Who is she?". She looked at me confused. "The woman near the window.". "Oh, that's Grandmama. Maria Feodorovna."she clarified. I looked over at the older woman that was looking out the window as a long wooden cane supported her balance.
Her hair was up and her sad brown eyes were kept in the same position as she looked out the window. After a while the Tsar and Mama came back. Their faces read no emotions. "Can I finally meet my granddaughter, Nicky."Maria Feodorovna asked annoyed. The Tsar nodded his head quietly and the old woman stepped closer to my bed. She stood across looking at me. "Valentina, this is your Grandmother, Maria Feodorovna."The Tsar introduced. "I know."I said. "How?" Tatiana almost whispered squeezing my hand tightly.
"She was the wife of Tsar Alexander III Of Russia, before he died."I explained. "How do you know this if we haven't covered this in the tutoring lessons."Tatiana asked. "I said I knew because I'm from 2018." I harshly said pulling my hand away from hers. I turned my head and looked away from them. When I was young my grandmama took me to Russia. She took me to a small museum about the Royals. I asked about a portrait of a woman and my grandmama explained to me about Maria Feodorovna, she was always her favorite Royal.
At this point I had nothing to loose again. I almost died because of Rasputin intentionally or not, although something was telling me that it was.
I looked at Maria Feodorovna she had a tear fall from her left eye. Everyone was looking at her for a reaction. She slowly turned her head, "How could you?! After everything! You still defend him? Look at her. Look at her!"she shouted furiously. I looked over at Mama and the Tsar. Both of them looked at me. I looked at Mama's gloomy face. I saw sorrow in her eyes and shame. I looked at the Tsar when I turned my attention to Maria Feodorovna. She sternly looked at my Mama and the Tsar when she ordered the ladies in waiting and guards to leave the room. "Tatiana go join Olga."Mama ordered. "No, let her stay. She is old enough and should learn."Maria Feodorovna muttered. Tatiana stayed in her seat.
Once the door closed shut, Maria spoke, "I have a proposition.". Silence filled the tense room as she started to speak again, "From what I have seen, you can't seem to take care of all of your children. I want to take her to Denmark with me so I can raise her in a safe environment away from all of this.". She sounded disgusted. Everyone was wide eyed and speechless including me. Tatiana took my hand held my hand tighter then before.
I turned to look at my Mama. She stood there doing nothing. Nothing.
"Grandmama, you can not take her. She belongs with us. She is my darling sister. She can not leave. Right Papa?"Tatiana said looking over at the Tsar in worry but he avoided her gaze and quietly sighed. "You are not seriously considering this. Mama say something."Tatiana pleaded. I felt bad for her but said nothing. It would be terrible if she took me. Then I wouldn't be able to do anything to help them, save them, and go back home. Just the thought of my Grandmama made me smile. "Sunny, say something."the Tsar murmured.
Mama had her hand over her mouth and continued to stare at the floor. But she wasn't crying, just frozen. The Tsar gently pulled her hand away and she broke her stare looking at him, "Nicky let's talk."
The Tsar nodded his head and they left the room excusing themselves. Maria Feodorovna also left the room following them. Tatiana turned to me with teary eyes, "Valentina, you can not leave. What would happen? We wouldn't be OTVMA.". I gave out a small chuckle, "It would be OTMA then. It sounds better, doesn't it?". "No it sounds weird. I would miss you to much. I would not be the same."she cried.
"What happened to me? What did Rasputin say?"I asked her. The mood of the room changed.
"He said you tried to run as you were in the fountain and turned the wrong way and hit your head. He ran to get help.". I was annoyed. Of course Mama believed him.
"Tatiana, I had an unusual dream or well vision."I started. Tatiana sat silent and listened. "I was playing with a young Marie and this woman named Shura called us in because Rasputin came." I paused as Tatiana listened carefully. I took a deep breath and continued, "When we greeted him Mama, Olga, You, and Anastasia already did and waited for us. Marie gave him a hug and I followed the same action but he touched young me's breast.".
Tatiana looked at me like she saw a ghost. The poor girl was all pale. She opened her mouth but nothing came out. Then after a minute she tried again, "I-I remember that day. You were playing with Marie outside and Mama asked your and Marie's and Anya's Lady in waiting to get you, which was Shura. Rasputin was a little off that day but Mama didn't seem to notice. I remember Marie giving him a hug and you did the same. Then I witnessed the horrible act. Mama wasn't paying attention, no one was. I saw him whisper something in your ear. He let go of you and you walked to stand next to me.".
"You weren't the same after that day. You weren't really up for anything. It was like your personality flipped. Of course I told Mama but she refused to believe such words and blamed the officers for such knowledge. I was punished after that."Tatiana said almost above a whisper.
I had so many questions but before I could ask her anything else the doors swung open and they back. Mama approached my bed and looks at me in sorrow.
YOU ARE READING
To The End With You
Historical Fiction***PLEASE DO NOT COPY THE BOOK IN ANYWAY "We have similar ones too."Olga uttered showing her hand. It was the same as mine but it had her initials and they were in diamond instead of emerald. I looked over at Tatiana, Maria, and Anastasia's rings. T...
