Ignite

...Because I Wasn't Capable of Loving Anyone Else

It was just her time to go.

That was what the veterinarian said after Rain's body was taken in.

Numerous tests from previous clinic visits were looked at to see if the feline had silently been ill; if she had some sort of missed growth or abnormality that could explain her sudden departure. Despite their best efforts, however, multiple eyes confirmed that prior scans were normal. Aside from a bit of joint deterioration from aging, she didn't have any substantial health issues.

With her last visit having been less than a month ago, the timing of her death just didn't make sense.

The only answer the doctor could formulate had to do with Rain's seniority as an animal.

She wasn't the oldest cat, but she was definitely on her way. There was a possibility that her body started shutting down after her last clinic appointment with no one noticing. And since the average lifespan of her breed was roughly fifteen years, it wasn't outlandish for her to pass from natural causes at twelve.

That simple explanation didn't give Alessandro any comfort.

Understanding the frightening and traumatic experience that came about with finding a deceased pet, the veterinarian gave—alongside a heartfelt apology—a rundown about Rain's final moments.

The doctor expressed how cats could partially sense when their death was arriving. Whether it be because of illness, pain, exhaustion—felines understood, to an extent, that serious changes were happening.

In her search for support, Rain most likely settled down in the bedroom because her owner's scent marked the territory. He wasn't there at the time, so her second option was to seek consolation from a shared, familiar space. It gave her the protection she may have yearned for when passing away.

The knowledge that Rain died alone—without Alessandro there to say goodbye—was a punch in the fucking stomach.

It was the only thing he could think about during a quiet drive back home.

*

The front door was pushed open hard enough for it to slam into the wall.

Quick strides were taken toward the bedroom, green eyes purposely not looking at a tiny bed on the couch or a small bowl still housing some dry food.

Walking without a furry little body doing the same alongside him was unnerving. As was the lacking sensation of a soft head nudging the sides of his lower legs in unspoken adoration.

Footsteps were heard following behind, but they were disregarded.

Work clothes were pulled off and thrown into the hamper. As soon as the outfit was replaced with shorts and a T-shirt, a pair of warm hands settled against broad shoulders. The gentle touch brought about an involuntary shudder. It caused a delicate, fluttering sensation to swarm in his chest as well.

Whether the sensation was good or bad was unclear.

"...I'm sorry, Andro." Lance didn't attempt to hide the waver in his voice. "But you have to know that this isn't your fault. Things like this just happen sometimes."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Lance's hands were shrugged off. Alessandro clenched his jaw while walking out of the room.

He could feel himself slipping further. Heart shattering grief was quickly morphing into blinding anger. At who or what, he couldn't really say. But the descent was coming too forcefully.

Instead of easing his grief, an outstretched hand exacerbated it.

Bare feet padded against the cold floor. Trembling hands wrapped around the neck of a bottle of wine. A cork top was screwed off and tossed elsewhere.