A Moment With You | ONC 2023 | ✔

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Dead?

My blood ran cold, the word crashing into me. The hairs on my body stood still as if paying their respects to the woman we knew nothing of, to the pain that swirled in the present and the ache the future had in store.

Dead.

Had that been the reason she'd been so adamant to talk about who gave her the gemstone? My chest clawed in on itself, my breathing becoming labored. 

Every moment before us sitting there made so much sense. She'd lost her mom and held on to the gemstone that made her dream of the same man every day. It had to have had such a hold on her, something to hold on to. Something to give her a hold on the world. To keep her grounded and then she got to meet that man. It was like life was aligning for her like everything was making perfect sense.

But was that really the case when she got stuck with me?

It seemed the gemstones, whatever their history was, had a messed up sense of humor. It wasn't enough that she had to be the daughter of the person who broke up my family - or to be more in tune with its cruelty, the daughter of the woman whom my mom had taken the love of her life from–she had to meet me now when it was all coming to...

Stephon choked a sob, dragging me from my thoughts back to the moment. He looked so much worse than I felt. For all the very different reasons.

There was a tumble of so many emotions twirling within me, and I didn't. I couldn't even comprehend how to handle any of them. How could all this be something one person had to bear? It was always easier to lock in on someone else's pain and emotions when things got this confusing for me, but I couldn't even turn to look at her. Not with the knowledge I had then.

How could I even look her in the eye to comfort her when I had answers that would break her even more?

"I'm so sorry."

I spun to her at the sound of her voice, my heart slowing its pace. She wasn't looking at me, but I noticed right away, her hands rubbing against her jeans. And despite the pull, I knew I needed to implement, I couldn't help plucking those hands off her jeans and taking them into mine, massaging away the hard surface.

"Hey," I called out to her, using my other hand to cup her face, so she was looking at me. Her tear-stained eyes tore at the pieces of my heart. "You did nothing wrong, Lore."

It wasn't her fault that fate had a twisted sense of humor. Things were so beyond our control and, sadly, it was awful.

She shook her hand out of my grip, dropping it all over again. Not dismissing the tears falling. And it stung even though I knew she hadn't meant it personally. In that head of hers, she was probably fighting a battle I knew nothing about. And that alone had my chest closing in on itself. I just had to.

I pulled her closer into my arms, stiffly. Those were tears she needed to let out and if she was going to have me, I wanted to help her through it. To be whatever she needed me to be, really. So I waited until her hands wrapped around my torso and she broke down before I let myself relax.

And each sob that escaped her lips clawed at every rational thought in my head to pull away. To prevent even more pain from coming her way. Every thought that let me think that pulling back now would be so much better for her than later. That it would be so much better than when it all came crashing down. 

But how could I when she gripped my clothes like her life depended on it? When she held on to me like I mattered the most to her.

And so I stayed right there and let her use me as she wanted.

Time flew past and the music in the background had dulled down, letting the sobs she released every once in a while fill up the silence that had descended on us. But the one thing that mattered was how each sob released from her lips smoothened the tense muscles in her body.

Sniffling, she murmured a thank you against my chest that had the knots in my stomach tightening even further. She did not pull back, and I sensed a bit of it was from embarrassment at what had just happened, but when she released a content sigh and just relaxed against me. I knew it was the moment when we needed no more words.

There was one thing Stephon had been right about. We had done so much talking and seeking answers that day. The quiet was a beautiful moment of bliss.

And so I let myself bask in it.

The night breeze swirled around us in a warm and protective embrace, whispering soft promises in our ears. The starry black sky above shone over us with smiles that sparked content within our souls. It let us revel in the dreams of the impossible like it was right there at the tip of our hands.

It was our moment, and it felt like nothing in the world could ruin it.

But I knew as clear as day how untrue that was.

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