𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝒎𝒖𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝐾𝑛𝑜𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝

John Crashaws pov (murderer #2)

I never was one to fall for someone who didn't belong to me, my huge self confidence and my ego wouldn't let me fall for anyone that wasn't't good enough and they usually never were. Multiple relationships and half of them cheated on me and I learned to never fully surrender my heart because I know they wouldn't break it. I didn't know what actual love felt like, and I knew I wouldn't experience that until it was with someone I could truly be myself with.

"Are you alright?" Travis asked me later that night, I had taken a drive away from the house, the silence was too much to handle. I hadn't cared she ignored me but I had cared for some idiotic reason that she had done some things with my brother and I hated that more than anything..why? Because...well I didn't know and probably wouldn't be able to say.

"Yeah..." I wasn't mad at my brother in particular, I wasn't mad and yet I couldn't let this go for some odd reason. Seeing her father last night he had looked like shit, and I knew I was the cause of that and yet didn't seem to care, it's what happened with Rory that cara doesn't know and I knew that would crush her completely.

"Well...do you still want to go through with this?" Travis asked me earlier that afternoon and I turn around, for the first time in a few months not exactly sure how to answer his question. We had done it..but what did I want to be accomplished here exactly? Rory was dead (I had learned he had been there for her while her actual father wasn't) and charlie her actual father was dying physically...or so it seemed. So what had I wanted? To be frank... everything was going just how I wanted it to, but how long could this charade go without me realizing the bigger issue that laid out right in front of me?

After having a very uncomfortable talk with Travis I head down the basement stairs and wonder how things would go if this house wasn't that type of house, if I fell in love and moved here with that special one..

But you didn't, instead your brother rotted in prison for years while you lived your life completely free. Instead charlie is suffering just how you wanted him to, and theres no going back, not now, and not ever.

Closing my eyes I let the truth sink in and realize it was true, nobody could fall in love with someone as rotten and cruel like me. With someone with such twisted words and intrusive thoughts. I had led a man to his death, and another one on his way practically while his daughter was here...was that how I invisioned everything?

Unlocking the basement door I open it and see cara laying on the mattress humming to herself, the boredom clearly affecting her. An empty room, nothing to do, walls of white paint echoing over and over, I could see how bored she would be. The humming was soft and light and I don't make a sound as I lean against the wall, listening to her humming, memorized.

"Love is a beautiful thing.." she whispered and turns around meeting eyes with mine, had she known I was there?

"Cara.." I spoke, I still had to break the news to her and I knew it would crush her...horribly.

"What?" She leaned her head back against the wall softly, her hair a fuzzy mess and yet tied into a bun, her eyes were dark and stayed on mine, looking at her now instead of a few months ago you wouldn't see the same person.

"I need to...tell you something and your not gonna like it whatsoever" I knew she would hate me after this, but she needed to know.

She doesn't say anything, she simply stares at me and I know it's either now or never.

"Rory is...dead."

She doesn't say anything, instead she shakes her head, a small chuckle escaping her lips.

"Funny...".

"Forty year old Rory Mickelson, apparently known as the nanny of cara has been found dead in his hom-"

"Stop" she was indecisive, she couldn't believe if it was true or not.

"Police officers say he was found in the tub-"

"Stop!" She yelled, tears streaming down her face. I couldn't get that report out of my head, it was all I could think about, over and over like a broken record.

"I'm..." Before I could say anything I stop speaking, I wasn't going to apologize...should I have?

"Rory..." She bursts into tears, her eyes no longer meeting mine as she bundles up into a ball, hugging her knees softly against her chest.

I knew it would hurt her..and she wouldn't be the same ever since.