Fortuitous {WLW}

Chapter Seventeen: Babysitter

Emerson's POV:

"She's my sister's best friend. I'm allowed to hang out with her." I express.

"Why now? You two never hung out before and now you two are suddenly hanging out on your own volition? It's weird." Peyton states.

I shake my head as I kiss my teeth, "Peyton, why does this upset you so much? We've been over for years and Saylor is straight."

I don't want to gaslight Peyton. She's a good person, I just can't have her making the revelation that something more is happening between Saylor and I. I know she'd run straight to Hadley with that information and as much as those two hate each other, it would finally be something the two of them would both be mutually heated about.

Peyton sighs, "it bothers me because I remember what was happening when the two of us suddenly started hanging out on our own. I know it's been years, but it hasn't been easy. You get to be yourself and live your truth, I don't."

"That's not my fault. I know it's not easy for you, but don't blame me." I state.

Peyton's expression softens, "I'm not trying to blame you. I'm sorry... it's just... it's hard... seeing you continue your life and be who you are. I'm jealous, admittedly... for many reasons. I'm jealous I can't have you, I'm jealous you get to live your truth, and I'm a little jealous of how much of your attention Saylor holds."

"Peyton, there's nothing to be jealous about when it comes to her." I state.

Peyton purses her lips, "you don't get it, Emerson. I've watched you be helplessly in love with her for years. Even when we dated, you still looked at her with so much admiration and reverence. I knew you wanted her, even then. I couldn't hold your attention in the ways she could and I don't think you get just how bad she is for you."

I sigh, feeling bad about how a younger version of myself treated Peyton.

I was young and dumb, thinking getting into a relationship would help dissipate any feelings I had for Saylor. Sure, it helped suppress them, but I still looked for her in every crowd.

It was difficult because I wanted to be present for Peyton. I wanted to be the person she deserved, but I fell flat.

I wasn't the only one that messed up though, we both weren't innocent. She did things that also tested our relationship, but we were young and stupid. We both did things we aren't proud of.

"Peyton, there's nothing that is or ever will be going on with Saylor and I." I say, my guilt building up inside me.

"I hope you mean that when you say it to me, because she has a reputation. Relationships are disposable to her, she's never once been attached. She uses people and I'd hate to see her use you." Peyton states.

My eyes narrow, "you don't know her enough to make a statement like that."

"And you do? Think about it, Emerson... she's still playing with Spencer, I mean look at her," she states, motioning her hand towards the shop where Saylor and Spencer are, the two of them laughing and switching out masks.

"He is helplessly in love with her and she knows it. She likes the attention and I'm sure she would like it from you too. Something new and exciting, something she hasn't tried before." Peyton says.

"That's not true. She's not using him for attention, she just wants a friend." I explain.

Peyton shakes her head as she walks towards me and places a hand on my arm, "Emerson, don't mess with her. You'll only hurt yourself."

My eyes look into her hazel ones, so soft and so sincere. I know she's looking out for me, but she doesn't really know Saylor the way I know Saylor.

Saylor isn't using me, contrary to what those 'close' to me may think. She's made it apparent that she wants to be friends with Spencer and that's all they're doing, friendly things. She can't help how he feels and I trust she can create a boundary if need be, but she is still technically single. She's allowed to do whatever she wants and if she does end up using me, then so be it. Lesson learned.