𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 ˢᵛᵗ

eight ♬

tw - mentions of suicide

"Do you want someone to come with you? It's a 3 hour drive there I'm sure someone-"

"It's fine," I told told Young-pil as I put my earphones in.

"Ok I'll let Yoona know what you won't attend tonight's practice. I'll also send the driver to pick you up tomorrow morn-"

"I'll be back late tonight so I'll ask the driver to stay and wait."

"You're not staying the night?" Young-pil questioned.

"No," I whispered under my breath,

"I never do."

The driver began to ride away down the long stretch. Looking into the windshield mirror, I saw Jeonghan storming outside and attacking Young-pil with a series of questions before turning to watch the car I was in leave. I just shook my head and listened to my music.

Just after 3, I arrived at Daegu General Hospital. Ironically, my mother doesn't even live anywhere near Daegu so I wonder what the hell she was doing here. A nurse directed me to mothers room which was on the 5th floor.

I strode past several rooms before I finally reached my mother. Her frail body was hooked up to an IV drip, sitting still on the bed. She had sunken eyes and cracked lips, staring into the empty space in front of her. I silently sat in the chair across from her, waiting for her to say something.

"You came," Her hoarse voice spoke.

"I had to. I'm your emergency contact," I sharply responded.

"You know you almost fooled me when you dropped me off a month ago. I really thought that you could be better, but some things just never change, do they?"

She remained silent.

"What's this now, the fourth time?" I carried on,

"No actually I think it's the fifth. Yeah it must be, because the first time that was the jumping off the balcony, second time was the failed overdose, the third and fourth time were the car accidents and now this. I'm actually surprised they haven't sectioned you yet."

The woman opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out.

"So tell me, how many more times do you plan to screw me over? You do realise it's me who has to pay the hospital bills right? I had to work since I was 13 doing whatever I could just to cover for your stupid expensive bills because god forbid you ever invest in some f*cking insurance, and when I finally thought that that was all behind me you go and stab me in the back yet again." I leaned closer in, trying to pry out some reaction from her.

"I swear I heard him this time," she murmured,

"He was there in water crying out-"

"So what?" I interjected,

"You threw yourself in there to save him? Are you telling me that this time was an attempted drowning?" My blood was boiling , my insides seething with anger.

It's so difficult to contain your temper when you go through the same bullshit every time.

"It really was him. It was Gi-young," She pleaded between sobs,

"If they didn't drag me out so soon I could've-"

"Eomma, please," I begged. I was reaching my limits.

"I saw him I swear-"

"He is dead!" I snapped,

"Why is it so difficult for you to accept that? He died and he's never coming-"