If Fire Caught

Chapter 36: Peeta.

As we start walking through the sewers, Katniss gets jumpier with each step we take. The look in her eyes is one I've seen once or twice. She hates being closed in underground. Her father died in the mines. That would make anyone frightened. She walks ahead of me, her knuckles white from the gripping her bow so tightly. When we get to a specific corridor, Jackson tells us to stop and make camp. She's still annoyed Katniss won't hand over the Holo, but it's her's. Boggs signed it over to her it's her's by right.

We start setting up camp, me helping minimally because of my shackles. Katniss' fresh cuts and bruises from earlier show in the dim lantern light and I feel a tightening in my chest as I remember I did that to her. I'm the reason she has more marks on her beautiful face. She settles down beside me with a first aid kit.

"I should clean your wrists for you," she says. "You've got some pretty deep cuts under them."

"I'm fine," I say, holding them close to my chest. "It's less than the pain I gave you today." She touches one of the scrapes on her cheek and then looks at me.

"It wasn't you," she says. "It was the mutt who pinned me to the ground. Not you Peeta."

"And you've had worse from him haven't you," I say and she looks at her hands. "How bad was it Katniss? How bad did I hurt you?"

"I told you, I'll tell you later," she says.

"Now is later," I say and she looks down at me with a sigh.

"Do you remember when they first brought you to Thirteen?" She asks. I try, I try really hard. I try so hard I start getting a headache. But that's when I realize, I have no idea what happened then. I have no idea how I got to Thirteen or the first time I attacked my wife.

"No," I say. "I don't. It hurts my head to think about it." She nods and gently reaches out her hand and lays it on my fake leg.

"They broke you out the day after you warned us that the Capitol was coming to bomb us," she starts. "They drugged me because they knew I would want to go. I was still mentally unfit for service anyway. But as soon as I woke up, l started freaking out. You were home. I ignored the fact that I'd barely eaten in a week and ran down to the medical center. I couldn't find you at first. The only ones I saw were Johanna and Annie. But at that moment, I was selfish. I didn't care that they were alive or dead. I wanted to see you. I wanted to hold you and know you were safe, with me.

"Gale, he told me you were in the next room. I went in and saw you sitting there, on that stupid metal table. You were covered in blood and you had cuts and bruises all over. I remember walking around to face you and as I said your name, this animalistic look appeared on your face and you just, you pinned me to the ground and started strangling me. There was hatred in your eyes as I looked up at you and I actually thought in that moment, I was dead. Boggs knocked you out, but you'd already crushed my throat. I had bruises for weeks and I couldn't talk for five days. But that didn't matter to me. I just held you, crying there on that floor until Boggs left and Gale got there to watch while they tied you up in that terrible cell. I kissed your forehead and they pulled me away from you. I thought you were gone. I thought I really had lost you." She looks down at her trembling hands and I gently reach out and take her shivering hand in both of mine.

"I almost killed you," I say. "I almost killed you and you still came back to me."

"I'll always come back to you Peeta," she whispers. "You are the love of my life. No matter what you do, I know that there is some part of you still in there, some part of you that's there and that still loves me." She slips her hand out of mine. "Try to get some sleep. I have first watch." I nod and she lays her pack down so I can sleep on it. She kisses my forehead and grabs her bow, walking to the start off the section. Try as I do, I can't fight it as exhaustion takes over and I'm lost in my nightmares.

I see her, Katniss, standing over a cradle, singing to a crying baby. She smiles so sweetly at that child that I know he must be our River. Katniss would never be like that with any other child. But that's when it turns dark.

She reaches into the cradle and grabs the baby's neck. He squeals and then it's silent, deadly silent. Katniss lifts her hand and deep red blood drips from her fingers. She wipes her blood covered hand across her face and body. Covering herself in red stains. She looks at me and her eyes glow red. She stands up and walks towards me. She smiles, her mouth dripping blood. She opens her mouth and the voice is still that of my beautiful Katniss, but words she never would say.

"This is what really happened," she hisses. "I always told you I didn't want a baby Peeta and I most defiantly didn't want to be the mother of your spawn. For the Mockingjay to live, he had to die." She beacons me with her finger, that horrid blood covers smile reappearing on her lips.

"Come catch me Peeta," she whispers like a siren. "It's time for you to kill me Peeta. I killed him. I killed our son. Come and catch me Peeta." Suddenly she disappears and I'm left in the dark. I hear her laugh and I keep calling her name, struggling to get out of the nightmare so I can breath, so I can see that this isn't real.

"Katniss!" I scream as I wake up and I see her standing at the mouth of our corridor, completely still. I hear creatures hissing her name. "Katniss, we have to wake them up. We have to get out of here. They're coming for you. She turns towards me, pale as a ghost.

"We need to go." She nods and starts waking the others.