If Fire Caught

Chapter 37: Katniss

We are about to escape from the rose mutts that have already killed Caster, Jackson, Messella, and worst of all, Finnick. Peeta suddenly falls and I cry out. He's holding his head and he's down crouched, rocking back and forth. I stop beside him.

"Peeta, it's not real," I say. "We need to get out of here." He just shakes his head. "I'm not leaving you again. No one here is strong enough to carry you anymore. So if you stay here and die, I'm staying here with you." He looks up at me and I feel like crying. His eyes are so clouded and confused.

"You need to keep going," he says. "I can't." I grab him by his shoulders and shake him.

"I can't do this without you," I say. "I couldn't the first time, I can't this time either."

"What?" He asks and I look down.

"Katniss, we need to go now," Cressida says. I nod.

"We know," I say before taking Peeta by the cheeks and slamming my lips to his. At first, he doesn't respond. But after a few moments, I feel him start to kiss back. "I need you to stay with me." A tear runs down my cheek as I realize the only thing left that might save him is something that will totally blindside him. Something I've been lying to even myself about. "I can't raise our child alone. I need you to stay with both of us." Peeta hesitantly touches my abdomen and I nod. Slowly his eyes clear and he looks at me the same way he did when I told him about our son, nearly a year ago.

"Always," he says. I nod and help him up. I turn to Pollux.

"Find the quickest way out of these God forsaken tunnels," I say and he nods. We start climbing up, out of the sewers and I feel his eyes on me nearly the whole time. I look at Cressida. "Are there any safe houses around here?"

"There might be one place," she says.

"It's our only shot," Gale says. "Let's go." She nods and leads us through the silent allies and to the front of a shop specializing in fur clothing. She hesitantly knocks on the door and a woman, more recognizable as a striped cat than as a human, opens the door.

"Tigris," Cressida says. "We need your help." The cat woman steps aside and we shuffle in fast. She shuts the door behind us and draws the blinds. She opens a panel in the back, which leads to her basement. She gives us fresh clothing and promises us there are pelts in the basement for us to make beds. I'm the last to enter and before I do, I turn to our savior.

"I know you," I say. "You used to be a stylist for the games, didn't you?"

"Until I got too old and Present Snow fired me," she says. Her cat eyes stare at me, as though daring me to call her ugly. In reality, I've seen much worse on the streets of the Capital.

"I plan to kill him you know," her split upper lip pulls up into a grotesque smile and I duck into her basement. I shudder yet again as I'm closed in. The other four are already starting to settle in. I slowly walk towards Peeta and sit down next to him. I reach into my pocket and pull out the key to his handcuffs. I unlock them and get to work cleaning them.

"We just need to keep them clean," I say as I notice the angry red infection in the cuts he made on his wrists with the handcuffs. "If we keep them clean, then they'll heal better."

"I know what blood poisoning is," he says. "Even if my mother isn't a healer." I smile sadly.

"You said that to me before," I say. "Real or not real."

"Real," he replies. Its awkward, his questions hanging in the air around us.

"You can ask me about it," I say. "I know you want to."

"When did this happen?" He asks. "I don't remember us even being together recently. Unless it isn't mine."

"Of course it's yours," I say. "It was the night before you relapsed. We knew I was going to come here and just in case we never saw each other again, we wanted to spend one last night together. I guess fate just likes to play with us." He looks at me with confusion.

"So you're what? Seven weeks along?" I nod.

"I guess I'd have to be," I say. I sigh and lean back against the cold railing Peeta propped himself against. "How the Hell did this happen to us again?"

"I have no idea," he says. "I don't even understand how you can still care about me enough for this to even have a possibility of happening, not to mention being the reality of our situation."

"I don't really know," I say. "But I love you. I know that it isn't you who hurts me. It's the venom."

"But, I can't control it sometimes," he says. "I've hurt you already since then. What if I hurt her? I would never forgive myself." I shake my head.

"We'll worry about that when it comes to that," I say. "We don't even know if we'll survive this. So we'll be okay for right now." I notice the dark circles beneath his eyes and hesitantly reach out and touch his cheek. "You should get some sleep."

"I can't," he says. "Every time I close my eyes, you're this terrible monster who killed my son. I don't like seeing you that way."

"Just lay down," I say. "I'll be right here, just so you know when you wake up that it wasn't real and I'm okay."

"You should sleep too," he says. "We're safe here. You don't need to keep watch."

"I will," I say. "Once I know you're okay, I will curl up right here beside you."

"If you plan on doing that, restrain me," he says.

"Peeta," I try to protest.

"Katniss, I'm not going to risk hurting you or our little one," he says. We glare at each other for a few moments before I grab the stupid restraints and chain his hands to the railing. I help him lay down and he stares blankly up at the ceiling. I reach out and sweep his messy curls out of his face.

"Are you sure you are comfortable?" I ask him. He nods.

"I've spent a lot of time sleeping like this, I'm used to it," he says and a tear slips down my cheek. I just wipe it away. I could apologize to him a million times, but it would always end in a fight. And I really don't want to fight with him right now.

"Okay," I say. I lean down and kiss his forehead. "I'll wake you up when it's time to go." He nods and I sit back up, stroking his hair as he falls asleep.