Chapter 37

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We were all huddled in our designated bed areas. Mom, Katniss, Prim and I had our arms wrapped around each other. Whenever there was an explosion there were screams from frightened citizens. Post one of the explosions, the lights went out; there were more screams. I reached over and turned on our lantern, others followed my example. Now, the only light we could see was the light emitting from the lanterns. We flinched whenever there was an explosion, dust fell from the ceiling. Prim pet the cat to soothe herself. I looked around, the noise of the explosions were bringing back bad memories. I couldn't handle it. 

Katniss saw my face, "Prim, talk about something. Anything." she said, rubbing my arms to keep me calm.

Prim saw I was going to that dark place of memories and held my hand, I looked at her scared, "They promoted me at the hospital. I forgot to tell you," she looked at me. "They're training me to be a doctor."

I smiled, "I'm so proud of you!" I kissed her temple. There was another explosion and I flinched. My breathing was heavy. 

~

After a little while the explosions stopped, people started going to sleep, however Katniss, Prim and I along with more people couldn't so I had the funny idea to use one of the flashlights to see if the cat would follow it, it was funny to watch. It was a distraction we all need. One minute I was fine and the next....I don't know....I just wasn't,I realized something.Iturn off the flashlight and give it to Prim to play with.

I look around and see Finnick at a bed alone. I get up and walk over to him, "Hi," I catch his attention, "May I sit with you?"

"Of course," He scoots over and gives me space on his bed. He goes back to looking at the picture of Annie in his hand.

"Snow is using Annie as a punishment to you. He wants to hurt you. He wants to hurt me too, that's why he has Peeta. He's taunting us with them. I didn't realize it until I was watching the cat."

Finnick looked at me, " After your first Games, I thought the whole romance thing was an act. We all were expecting you to continue that strategy. But it wasn't until Peeta's heart stopped and he nearly died that I knew that I had misjudged you. You love him. And I'm sorry about your baby." He put his hand over mine. 

"How do you live with them?" I asked referring to the night terrors.

"I drag myself out of the nightmares and there's no relief in waking up. But.." he leaned in, "it's better not to give in to them. They're memories, they can't do anything to you anymore. It takes ten times longer to put yourself back together than it does to fall apart. 

~

Mom and Prim slept in the top bunk while Katniss and I slept on the bottom bunk. Katniss was fast asleep, I however was laying on my back looking up and thinking about Peeta. I was so worried about him. Had they already killed him? Were they torturing him for warning us? My nerves and anxiety were all over the place. 

"Lily." A voice called, I turned and saw it was Boggs leaning over our bed, "Come with me."

I carefully got out of bed and went with him to the control center. Coin was leaning over a table and glanced over at me when the door closed behind us. "We took their best shot. Didn't we?" 

I nodded, "We did our best."

"Your mother and sisters okay?" She asked.

"As okay as they can be, I guess." I replied.

"I need you to do something for us. I need you to tell Panem that we survived an attack by the Captiol with no casualties. And we remain fully operational."

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