Chapter 40

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It was about a month before the doctors finally took off my neck brace. When she took it off she put her hands on the sides of my neck and I flinched back suddenly, looking at her scared. 

Her voice was calm and soothing, "I know, I know. I'm sorry, I know it's a little tender," She apologized, knowing that it hurt. My whole neck was bruised. I felt her fingers applying small bits of pressure to my throat, it stung but not too bad. "Hmm." She commented and I looked at her nervous, I hated when doctors did that then didn't say anything, "Okay, let's try your voice now," I just stared at her, "Come on, say 'My name is Lily Everdeen. I am from District 12.'"

I took a breath, "My...." It came out a whisper, hoarse, and cracking, I hadn't spoken since the incident. 

"It's okay, just take your time." She told me, "You still got a lot of swelling in your vocal chords."

"My.." I felt my folds vibrate, making my voice sound a bit more normal, but not quite there yet, "Name.... is..." Plutarch was watching me sympathetically. "Lily...Everdeen."I croaked. I looked at Plutarch, "I...I want to talk...to him."

He gave me a small smile and shook his head, "He needs time, Lily. But, um, we're trying something new today. He's been calmer with the doctors, but they're strangers to him. So, we're gonna test his response on someone he remembers from home. Someone he trusts." 

~

They gave me a white button down and black pants so I could finally leave my room. I went to the viewing station in front of Peeta's room and looked through the window. Haymitch stood to my left. 

"Send her in." Plutarch ordered.

There was a buzzing sound and the door to his room opened. Prim walked in slowly. She was wearing a medical uniform. She glanced at me through the window and turned back to Peeta, approaching him cautiously. 

"Hey," She greeted at the foot of his bed.

"Prim," He recognized. Peeta looked better then when I saw him, he had gained some weight and most of the bruises were gone. 

Prim sat down on his bed, "How are you feeling?"

"She's too close to him," Haymitch snapped.

"It's okay," Plutarch told him.

I never moved my eyes from them, "How'd you get here?" He asked her, he almost sounded like the Peeta I remembered before the hijacking.

"We live in District 13 now," She informed him. "It's a real place. The stories are true." Prim; she looked so grown up, she was no longer that scared little girl from 12. "You were rescued."

Peeta stuttered, his eyes looked like he was going to cry, "My family hasn't come to see me." I put my hand on the windowsill and sniffled, I was his family. I flashed back to the ruins of 12. I remembered seeing the rubble that was once the bakery. "There was an attack on 12." he knew.

"Yes."

Peeta looked heartbroken, "My family?" 

Prim shook her head, "The bakery didn't survive." She knows because I told her. 

His face slowly went cold. "It's Lily. It's because of Lily." the way he said my name, with such detestation, it broke me.

"It wasn't because of her," Prim rebutted.

His eyes went to her, "Did she tell you to say that?" he questioned.

"She didn't tell me to say anything."

"She's a liar Prim. It's a trick," He spat.

I looked at him, and sadly took my hand off the windowsill, "Peeta, what you're saying isn't real."

He looked at her as if he realized something, "She sent you here to talk to me. She knows you're here now."

"It's okay," She tried to calm him down, 

"YOU CAN'T TRUST HER!" He thrashed in the bed and Prim shot up and took a step back. "SHE'S A MONSTER! SHE'S A MUTT THAT THE CAPITOL CREATED TO DESTROY US!" He was practically spitting the words at her. I just froze there, watching him.

"Get her out of there," Haymitch ordered.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? YOU HAVE TO KILL HER PRIM! YOU HAVE TO KILL HER!" 

Plutarch looked at me, "Lily?" He saw the look of fear and sadness on my face, "This is just a conditioned response. It's not him."

I stared right at him, screaming at my sister about how I'm a monster that needs to be killed, "You're right. It's not him."

~

Boggs called me saying I had to go to Command so I walked in and Coin was sitting at the table with a few of her men, she welcomed me inside. 

"Will you excuse us for just a moment?" She asked and they nodded and walked out. I sat across the table from her. "I'm glad you're feeling better.

I paused before I spoke, I put my hands together at the table, "Snow needs to pay for everything that he's done. I have to do everything that to help here."

Coin nodded in understanding, "It's hard for you to see Peeta this way."

"I dont know who that is but that's not Peeta. Not my Peeta, anyway." I snapped. "Send me to the field, I'll do anything."

"I cant-" She paused and put her hand to her chin, "I can't send you there. We can't get into the Capitol until we control District 2."

"Then let me go to 2. You want me to rally the troops? You want me to get the loyalists? You know what I'm capable of by now." I leaned forward.

Coin nodded, "Yes, I do."

~

Next thing I know, me and a handful of others get into one of the five aircraft headed into District 2. I sat by myself on one of the beds until Gale joined me.

He hesitated before he said, "I saw Peeta...before we left."

I took a breath, "And what's your opinion?" 

"Even though he tried to kill you, you still love him." he noticed, "You'll never let him go." I looked at the floor, "What's going on in your head."

"I.... miss him. I want my Peeta back." I put my head on his shoulder. 

"You should get some rest," Gale whispered and got up to go talk to Katniss. I took Gale's advice and got into bed to take a nap while we were on the move. 

~

It felt like i had a few minutes before the speakers went off "30 minutes till destination. Prepare for landing." 

Groggily I sat up and looked around, up on the second level I saw Katniss and Gale talking to Beetee.

"This is another version of booby-trapping a resource," Katniss told him. 

"Right, I see." Beetee responded.

Gale pointed on the screen, "This one's designed to blind. Smoke clings to the eyes," I stood up and walked over to them.

"That's an application of the hummingbird trap," Katniss pointed out, "Scare people so they flee in this direction," She showed them, "Into what they think is a safe haven. 

"A two-tiered explosion," Beetee understood. 

"You allow people enough time to rush in, help the wounded, then-"

"Bomb number 2." I finished.

"Yup." Gale locked eyes with me then turned back to the screen, "The second one goes off here."

"I guess the rules about what a person can do to another person are out the window now huh?" I asked looking down at the screen.

Gale looked at me solemnly, "I don't think Snow used a rulebook when he hijacked Peeta." 

Ya got me there, Gale.



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