if i love you was a promise | b.e

seven

my mouth hung open. i just froze. i searched her face to see if she was joking, but her eyes looked sincere and maybe hopeful.

"i-" i started. billie was holding her breath. "i dont know what to say."

"my mom talked to the team. they said it's ok, as long as no one knows..."

"i don't wanna be a burden on you. and everyone else."

"joey, i really want this. like, really really want this. do you?"

"of course i do, but i.."

i paused to take it all in, but still couldn't quite manage it. only yesterday i was just another fan of billie. everything was going so fast, i wasn't able to keep up.

though i had so many questions, so many 'what if's and so many reasons i shouldn't, "of course i will." was the only thing that came out of my mouth.

no matter what i was feeling inside, it was all worth it seeing billies face light up and a huge smile spread across her cheeks. it was a contagious smile, but so beautiful it could make you cry.

"oh my god." billie said in a huge sigh, pulling me into a hug. billies arms felt like the safest place i would ever be.

billie leaped up, saying "im going to let my mom know. them we can talk about details while we eat." excitedly, and she skipped off before i could tell her how stunned i was.

i let my shoulders fall, and almost let myself cry a little. all i had ever wanted. she was the reason i was alive, and i would get to spend months with her. it was crazy, unreal. it filled me with a rush of adrenaline, i started stomping my feet on the ground and smiled so hard it hurt.

after about ten minutes billie came back. "we'll call your mom about it later, i guess she'll make the final decision. let's not get too excited until we know for sure." she sighed. "bro im so anxious, i dont know if i can eat." she said, looking at the food like her worst nightmare.

"same. but im gonna eat anyway." i laugh, shoving a piece of toast in my mouth. billie giggled and sat down beside me.

she looked at me in a weird way, almost like she was trying to find something in my eyes. i laughed, saying "what?"

"i don't know joey." she threw herself back on the bed. "something about you has me attached already. it usually takes me months to get attached."

"you have no idea how amazing that makes me feel." i shook my head, laughing.

"so you have a fanpage, yeah?" billie changed the topic.

"oh.. you saw that?" i blushed a little, taking a break from eating to look at her grinning. "what's the @?" she sat up, pulling out her phone. at that moment i was so glad i had unsent all the embarrassing messages to her dms.

i showed her my screen and she typed it in. "24k followers. nice." she laughed. she started scrolling and i blushed even more as she started giggling at my captions which i was really regretting. my phone started buzzing and i realised she was liking all the posts as she scrolled. "bro, what is everyone gonna think?" i said anxiously, starting to see comments popping up saying,

"she liked !!!"
"omg she's spamming you wtf"
"WHY IS SHE LIKING ALL YOUR POSTS BROOO"

i stared at billie in awe of how crazy she was while she looked down, grinning to herself. once she reached the end she threw her phone across the bed and said "why have i never seen your profile yet?"

"you tell me." i answered. "everyone is shook. imagine if they knew where i was right now." i grinned.

"they'd all be tryna fuck if they were here." billie replied with a straight face that she managed to keep for about five seconds, then we both burst out laughing, and i blushed a little, knowing that was true. "another reason why i like you." she raised her eyebrows and pointed a finger in my direction. "we can have a proper conversation without talking about fucking."

we heard a knock on the door and we both turned to find maggie peering in with finneas, claudia and patrick standing behind her.

"hello friends," she said in a playful voice, "time to get ready to go to the venue."

"oh shit, yeah." billie said in realisation, hauling herself up to her feet, then holding out her hand to help me up. "the uber will be here in about half an hour. we're going early so we can talk about your situation, joey." she winked at me and smiled as she shut the door.

"see, this is what i didn't want. we have to go early because of me." i looked at billie with an embarrassed expression. "oh, shut up. it's no big deal." billie dismissed it, and that made me feel slightly better.

we finished eating and billie did her hair before we made our way to the lobby and straight to the uber so no one would see us. the team was in one uber, and the six of us were in a seven seater together, me and billie in the back row furthest from the window, claudia, finneas and maggie in the middle and patrick in the front. maggie turned around to us and said "when we get to the venue, security will be outside, ill go straight in with joey and claudia and you two can talk to the line outside for a few minutes, ok?"

i nodded, but billie pointed out, "she has a pretty big following on her fanpage," grinning at me, but then changed to a more serious expression, "people might recognise her."

maggie paused for a minute to think, then said, "ok, ill get one or two security guards to make sure no one sees her."

"oh my god, maggie i think it'll be fine." i tried to interfere, but maggie lookd at billie, who said "24k." which must have been enough for maggie because she turned around and said "yeah, definitely won't be fine."

the plan worked out when we arrived, everyone saw billie and started running, paying no attention to anything else.

maggie brought us up to the greenroom and gave claudia and i some water.

we sat on the couch and claudia smiled at me and said, "you must still be shocked by all this."

"bro, oh my god." i rolled my eyes. "literally yesterday i was just going at a show. now im tryna go on your with you guys? it sounds stupid even saying it."

claudia took a sip of her water and said "when i first started dating finneas it was crazy to me too. i mean i already had a career in a similar industry, but i used to look at him and think 'what a genius.' who am i kidding, i still do." she giggled.

"you guys are so cute. im guilty of calling you guys my parents a couple hundred times." we both laughed and she said "thats adorable."

we heard footsteps coming from outside the door, meaning billie, finneas and patrick were back.

"let's do this shit." billie said as soon as she barged through the door, referring to calling my mom. i had been dreading it, but i was also anxious to find out what she was going to say. it would be a big discussion, things like school, seeing my family.

everyone spread around the couch, billie hunched up next to me. her just being there made it a lot easier to stay calm. this was one of the most important decisions in my life.

i nervously dialed my moms number and put it on speaker.

"hey, joey."