if i love you was a promise | b.e

seventeen

everyone clapped as billie stood up after the interview. i was in awe of what i had watched.

i loved seeing her have to stop and think about the answers, and hearing her talk so passionately about things.

it was also crazy how much you don't see. she would answer a question, then let all her tics out, then go for the next one. it must have been horrible holding them all in.

the interviewers thanked billie for coming and then we left.

"im gonna start filming, bil." eli said, turning on his camera and talking about what was happening. i walked as far away as i could from the camera, trying to follow billies orders, and watched them. billie didn't seem too happy being filmed. her attention kept wandering back to me. i would give her a smile and she'd smile back, but not looking happy. i wondered if she had talked to they twins about respecting her privacy.

we were just outside the taxi when someone saw billie. she started crying and ran over. patrick had me hide behind him. billie took pictures with a huge smile, hugging the girl then letting her run back over to her mom and dad. i thought back to the day that i was in her position. i smiled to myself at how much had changed over the course of a few days.

billie rushed over straight after the twins stopped recording. "are you ok?" i looked right at her. she looked tired and upset and a little annoyed.

she didn't reply. "you're exhausted billie. we should stay back at the bus once we get there." i said as we filed into the taxi.

she just nodded and leaned her head on my shoulder.

"what?" eli protested. "we need her for the vlog!"

"you have aidan and brandon. and billies happiness comes first." i answered, feeling billie chuckle under her breath at my statement. she kissed me on the cheek and went back to leaning on my shoulder.

the twins had no reply to that, so we all sat in silence until we got to the bus. everyone else was planning on  going out again, so billie and i stayed alone in the bus.

as soon as everyone had left, billie kicked off her shoes and threw her hair up. we made some tea and cuddled in the corner of the sofa.

"this is why i brought you with me." billie sighed as she finally relaxed. "what do you mean?" i asked.

"i love the boys, but most of the time they just want a camera on me. it gets annoying."

"bet." i nodded.

"i just wanted someone to hang out with who wouldn't be recording the whole time. after talking to you all night, i felt like you were the person ive been looking for for so long. someone who would just talk and forget there was anything going on outside of the room."

i blushed at her words.

"thank you." billie smiled, sipping her tea. "for dropping everything to come with me. i don't usually get attached that easily, but i..."

"ive admired you for so long. the situation im in right now is all ive ever wanted. there is nowhere in this world i would rather be than right here, right now. im the one who should be thanking you." i explained to her.

"the fandom would go crazy if they found out. it's been so weird seeing people saying they 'wished they were right next to you right now' or they 'just wanted to hold you'. just last week i was the same. but now i can do that whenever."

billie smiled to herself. "how do you think we should tell them?" she asked, filling my stomach with butterflies. "i mean, when we do. not saying anytime soon." she added cautiously.

"making a post about it might be missed by a lot of people." i thought out loud, peering out the dirty window next to the couch. "maybe a livestream that you could save on your profile." i suggested.

billie nodded. "good idea. that's the best way to be able to talk for a long time."

i let a grin grow on my lips at the thought of everyone knowing. it freaked me out a little, but that was what was so exciting.

"we could post something saying 'telling you something on a livestream at 12pm' or something, so people would be ready too. i know they get bummed when they miss lives, and this one might be a bigger deal." she giggled quietly, looking down.

i stared at her for a little longer than i should have.

"what?" she grinned cluelessly.

"im so lucky to be with you." i said quietly.

billie looked down, trying to hide her blushing cheeks, smiling embarrassedly.

"you're so beautiful." i whispered.

billie leaned over and connected our lips. we both smiled into the kiss. i pecked the tip of her nose before pulling away completely.

"so are you." billie laughed.

i guess we were both more tired than we thought, because billie ended up napping in my arms instead of in her bunk.

we were woken up by the sound of boys shouting. they busted through the door and were all shouting at once. we realized they were vlogging.

billie quickly sat up, looking a bit shaken, as we were rudely interrupted.

"what the fuck, bro?" billie stood up, slamming the bus door which they had left open.

the room fell silent.

"that parts not going in the vlog." billie ordered them and they nodded. she then rejoined me on the couch.

"sorry, we didn't know you guys were-" isaac tried to excuse them.

"it's fine." she cut them off. "be careful, ok?"

"why don't you guys want anyone to know anyway? i thought mike gave you the go ahead." aidan asked as they all say down.

"we're just not ready yet." billie said in a quiet voice, still recovering from how annoyed she was, not even looking at aidan as she answered his question. it made me happy knowing billie cared enough about our relationship to want to protect it. i wanted nothing different.

maggie came into the bus and patrick followed, letting a stream of extra light fill the centre of the bus. "guys, we're taking a 3am flight to la instead. the 9am was cancelled." maggie said. i looked over at billie who held a fed up expression.

"doesn't billie have a show tomorrow?" i asked. she was already tired enough, having a show and then a flight through the night seemed insensible. "she does, but there's nothing we can do. she has to be there to perform for calvin klein on thursday." maggie shrugged.

i sighed. i was in no position to protest, but i really wanted to.

"on friday you can stay in bed all day, ok billie?" patrick suggested. i watched a little grin grow on billie's lips as she nodded, looking at me. i felt my cheeks turn bright red.