if i love you was a promise | b.e

nineteen

mike had told billie and i to just keep quiet about us if we didn't want people knowing, which we agreed with since we were still just starting out. everything had already started calming down, i knew after being apart of the fandom that it would be back to normal in a day or two.

we stepped out of the uber, my stomach exploding with butterflies. i stood outside the gate of billies house, looking up at it in awe.

"you gonna come inside?" billie laughed as she watched my reaction. "sorry." i giggled and followed her across her front lawn.

"do you realise how crazy this is to me?" i said to billie, stopping in front of the door.

"it doesn't have to be. i want you to feel at home here."  she tugged on my hand.

"really?"

"of course i do. get your ass inside." she shoved the door open and revealed their hallway.

finneas and billie showed me around, the kitchen, the living room with their piano. then they showed finneas' room, which i found the most incredible. it was tiny, just fins bed with the familiar flower pillow, two pianos and a computer and chair between them.

billies room was just has amazing as i had expected. she turned on her red lights straight away, causing her to sigh. "i missed this."

she threw her suitcase to the side. "later." she said, pointing at the blanket hung behind her bed.

i looked at her with wide eyes. "you're kidding." she was referring to what lay behind the blanket, obviously.

billie smiled at me. "i trust you." she said quietly.

a huge smile grew on my cheeks.

"im glad you do. i trust you too."

she gave me a small peck on my lips and pulled away to look into my eyes. "let's get something to eat."

i followed her back out to the kitchen where the rest of the family was eating already. billie pulled some refried beans and doritos from the cupboard, but them in bowls and put them on the table.

"we have an hour and thirty minutes before the calvin klein show." patrick told us as billie sat next to me at the table.

"im so fucking tired." she sighed.

"i know baby," maggie kissed the top of billie's head. "but then you have some off days."

"where are we gonna put joey during the show?" billie changed the subject.

"good question." patrick said, furrowing his eyebrows. "maggie and i will be at the side of the stage and we cant have her there. people will see her and start asking questions, especially so soon after the bell twin's vlog."

billie sighed. 

"man, im such a burden for you guys." i said embarrassedly. 

maggie put her hand on my shoulder. "of course youre not! this is just something we have to figure out."

"youre here for a reason." billie pulled me into her side.

she kissed my forehead, making me blush as it was in front of her whole family.

"she could get into the crowd." finneas suggested.

patricks face lit up. "yes, perfect. youre not claustrophobic or anything are you?" 

"she was front row the night we met." billie smiled, bringing back memories of how it all happened.

"it's settled so." patrick said, taking a last sip of his coffee. "we should start getting ready to go."

he and maggie left the room leaving finneas, billie and i.

"hey, what if someone recognises you?" billie asked quietly.

i pursed my lips and thought for a moment. "ill tell them my mom got me surprise tickets to the show and flew us over?"

"that's the best we can do." billie shrugged, wiping her hands from dorito crumbs. "let's get you something clean to wear. i have to change too."

billie lead us back to her room and opened a huge closet. "nothing that people will recognise is mine." she mumbled to herself. she pulled out some grey sweatpants and a plain black hoodie. "after tomorrow you can wear something other than sweatpants." she chuckled as she handed them to me.

"this was all i ever wore anyway." i giggled. i turned to the bathroom to change but she grabbed my shoulder.

"stay."

i bit my lip and looked her in the eye, not moving. her hand fell to the rim of my shirt as she stepped closer. she watched my face as she slowly lifted my shirt. i didn't take my eyes off of hers.

i felt my whole body shiver as billie lifted the shirt over my head. goosebumps rose of my skin as she put her warm hands on my neck and pulled me into a slow kiss.

she smiled as she leaned back to look at my body. "damn."

i had always been insecure about my body, so even though even though she complimented me i still felt the need to cover myself up. billies face softened as i closed my arms over my chest. she grabbed my chin so i was looking into her eyes again. "you're beautiful." she whispered sincerely, her eyes stern as she made sure i believed her.

billie proceeded to pull off her own shirt, catching me by surprise. i stood in awe as she threw it on the ground. she leaned in to kiss me again, and this time it was deeper. i let my hands find her back and pull her in closer to me, now wanting anything but to go to the show.

"almost ready?" maggie called from the kitchen. billie pulled away from my lips slowly, looking me up and down before calling "two minutes!" back to her mom.

billie watched as i pulled off the sweatpants i was wearing and put on the new ones. "fuck." she mumbled under her breath, thinking i couldn't hear.

billie then put her clothes on, making my heart sink. she was so beautiful. i dreaded leaving the house, all i wanted was to stay here with her. she caught me bite my lip as i saw her bare legs for the first time. "we have all day tomorrow." she winked as she left the room, leaving me stunned.

i ran after her and caught up as everyone walked out the door.

"everything ok, joey? maggie asked, noticing how flushed i was after what had just happened.

"im ok, just overwhelmed i guess." i lied, making her chuckle.

for some reason it hadn't occurred to me that billie would be driving. seeing her in the driver's seat was really attractive for some reason.

"you can take the passenger seat." finneas opened the door for me next to billie.

"you sure?" i asked.

"yes, he's sure." billie rolled her eyes, pulling me inside.

as she drove, i couldn't stop thinking about her. the way she kissed me. the way her lips felt. the way her hands felt on my skin. i was dying for tomorrow to come.

i realised i had been staring too long when my eyes met billies through the rearview mirror for a split second. i turned my attention away from her to the window to not seem so obsessive, finding a big stage and a crowd of people setting things up as i did.

billie pulled over by a building. "ill be over in a couple minutes, im just gonna pee." she said, hopping out of the car. i thought she meant that until i saw the look she gave me.

i walked around to the side of the car that she was on. she took my hand and swiftly brought us to the bathrooms.

billie lead us up some steps and through the door. she pulled me inside a stall where she pushed me against the wall, smashing her lips on mine.