Lost in the Shadows

38

Any minute now we will be heading out to Marks house. Everyone seemed on edge as I walked out into the kitchen, they all leaned on the counter as they drank a glass of their hidden Bourbon. They drank in silence, and I've never been a fan of the silence, the silence scared me because it screams the truth. And the truth was is that no one knows if this plan will go the way we want it to. The truth was, I may be walking into a death sentence. The silence made me feel hopeless and afraid.

I stepped inside the kitchen wearing light blue jeans with holes in the knees, a black shirt, and my black Panther leather jacket that Wes gave me. They acted as if they didn't notice me in the room, but I knew they heard my heavy footsteps in this black Doc Martens.

I walked over to the bourbon and poured me a glass ease my tension. Wes went to stop me from drinking it, but once he saw my eyes, he knew I needed it just as much as he did. I would never admit it, but I was scared. I was t sure what my fate would be, but the feeling inside my gut told me that nothing ever good comes from my Dad.

My dad just brings guilt, misery, sadness, but most importantly- he brings death. Death follows him. I was never aware of that when I was younger, I knew he was a bad guy and I knew that he was a terrible excuse of a father. But now I felt more angry at him, not only did he abandon his role as a dad and make me think that it was my fault he did bad things, now I understood that he left us because he couldn't give up this lifestyle. I couldn't help but think that when I spoke my first words, he was murdering; when I learned how to ride a bike, he was torturing. I now understood that he was just out for blood, and he chose that over a family. He chose power over us.

My mom used to tell me that he wasn't always like this, he used to be kind, and thoughtful. I also wondered if that was a lie, how could such a cruel man even have a heart. He doesn't. He doesn't have compassion, sympathy, empathy, or anger of the things that make us humans.

It infuriated me.

Wes motioned for us all to head to the car, so we did. We one by one got into the car without a sound. There wasn't a sound to be heard for miles, there hasn't been all day.

I wanted to play music to block out the shouting silence, but I wouldn't know what to listen to. Country music seemed to gushy and lovey, Rock Music felt too in your face and upbeat, and pop felt too normal. I didn't even know what I was feeling. Scared? Nervous? Anxious? Sad? I wasn't sure, but I didn't think any music would help me figure that out.

Wes made me go over the plan repetitively as if he was expecting me to forget. But I responded the same each time: you're going to give me a hidden camera so you can hear and see everything happening, I'm going to walk inside and ask non-obvious questions to make sure that no one else plans to take his position, once I talk with my dad I will ask a few questions and try to get him to stand in front of the window so that y'all have a straight shot. Then I will walk out.

The plan seemed to easy, but none of us were dumb to believe that. However, we continued to keep telling each it would work and everything will be good.

Once we got to the house Wes parked on the other side of the street, I wouldn't think anyone from inside the building could see the road anyways due to the large grown out oak trees in front of the black gate.

"Be careful," David said shaking my shoulder as Luke and Matt both nodded in unison as if they had nothing to say, but their faces told me that they all wanted the same thing- the plan to work and me to come out safe.

Wes opened the door and took my hand to help me out of the car. Slowly lead me to the back of the car to pull me into a warm comforting hug, I leaned my head on his chest listening to his heart race faster each moment, while he brushed my hair with his hand. "Please stay safe," he whispered leaving a lingering kiss on my head.