Pucking Fantastic

Chapter 32: So Much To Say

Hi guys! Goodness! To be honest, this was one of my favorite chapters to write in this book. Look out for the <>

I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Well, I am off to Brazil for two weeks to avoid this corona virus. Hoping it will all blow over ASAP.

Peace out!

DarlaH

"Ellis, we love you," mom said as she kissed my bald head.

I nodded. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She didn't want to go, but visiting hours were over and she needed to sleep in her own bed before tomorrow came. Seeing her in so much pain made me emotional. "I love you too," I said to her, not wanting them to leave. The night meant I would be alone and I didn't want that.

I looked at Paulo and took his hand then squeezed it. Please let him stay with me. Let him fight mom about it.

He squeezed tightly back then let go of my hand. He couldn't stay. I should have known that. I never thought I would get so close to Paulo after all that had happened. We had become inseparable. "We'll be back early tomorrow. I promise," he said.

I forced a smirk, that wasn't the response I wanted. "I expect that much." I looked over at Jaimie as my smirk fell off my face. He was trying to be strong for me but he was scared. I saw that. After all that we had been through the past 48 hours, I felt like we ironed out some things but I wish he would share his deepest concerns with me instead of mulling them over by himself. "Jaimie?"

He looked up from the ground to me. He was terrified about what tomorrow held. He was speechless.

"Jaimie, it'll be ok," I said to him.

He shook his head as if he knew it wouldn't be. "I love you, El," he said as his voice quaked.

"I love you too," I said as I grabbed a hold of his hand.

"Ok, y'all need to get out of here. Ellis needs some rest before tomorrow." Allyson said with a sigh. This was already her third time telling us and she was getting tired.

Mom nodded.

"I'll see you all tomorrow," I said to them as they slowly walked out of the room. I watched as Jaimie looked back into the room one more time. He had so much to say, but not enough guts to say any of it. I waved, showing that saw him.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," he smiled softly then ran off to catch up with Paulo and mom.

I sighed as I looked at the walls in front of me. With my family gone the rest of the night, I only was left to my thoughts. I shook slightly, terrified about tomorrow. Allyson said I needed my rest, but I was so worked up, I didn't think I could sleep at all tonight. I didn't know what to expect. There was uncertainty and I didn't want to be alone.

I never thought my year would start off like this. For only being January 14th I felt like I had grown so much already. I never thought that I would see myself forced to withdraw from Nationals. I never thought I would be ok with not skating every day. Things had changed and I had to.

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Breaking me from my thoughts was a knock on my door. I looked over to see Callum standing at the edge of my dark room. He had tears in his eyes. I hadn't seen him in weeks. I thought he would be over me by now but it looked like he was falling apart. "Hey," I said casually to him, unsure what else to say.

I was so sure that I never wanted to see him again. I didn't want to be disappointed by what he had to say that I blocked him any way I could. He wrote that article and it broke me. But as I looked at him, I realized that even if he did write it, he did it to try to get through to me. He knew what skating meant to me but he knew what I meant to him. He wrote that article to save me from myself. He knew exactly what he was doing when he released it. He wanted me to be around for the long term no matter what cost it was to our relationship.