Does it get Better?

"Alone" Chp. 14

The next few days were getting better. I tried my best to stay positive. Deku and my friendship was a little awkward but strong. Neither one of us had the guts to speak of the date.

The class was worried about me when they found out about the villain incident. Although I was thankful for their care, I wanted things to go back to normal.

The attention was kind of sickening.

The girls and I had a sleepover together and talked about lots of things. They knew what happend with the villain, deku, my parents.

These were hard topics to touch on but I got through it. They were very helpful. Most people didn't pity me which was nice.

A few months passed without any terrible incidents. I wasn't seeing things anymore, I was physically healed, and I was beginning to find happiness.

Of course good things don't last forever.

My grades had fallen because I was having trouble paying attention during class. Money was still a struggle. I couldn't afford a therapist to help me. I was stressed over little things and my stamina had dropped from the lack of sleep.

I had gotten a little more information on the situation with my parents. Apparently their bodies were found sitting at the dining table at my house. They both had wounds in their head from a gun. But, the house was clean so they believe the actual murder was done somewhere else. I didn't really know what to do with this info, so I just put it to the side.

I was stressed over lots of things but worse of all I felt alone. It's funny, the more attention I got the more alone I felt. I'm not sure if anyone noticed but to be honest, I didn't really care.

It was the end of a normal school day and I walked from class. There were people walking with me. Deku, Iida, Todoroki and Tsu. It was no different from before on the outside, but on the inside it was completely different. I just felt so alone. Would thing ever be like they were before?

Every step I took felt like the wrong one. Every smile I forced felt sad. Every move I made felt scares. Like it would fade away soon.

We chatted like normal down the hall as we walked from the school to the only place I could call home. We finally made it to the dorms. I was exhausted from the long school day. Just as I was about to leave for my dorm Deku pulls me aside.

"Hey Uraraka, can I talk to you?"

His voice was soft, but his appearance was intense. I was kinda nervous. What was he gonna say?

I looked him in the eyes nervously, his face made me uneasy and immediately I felt the strong alone emotion I had felt when I first got the news my parents died. It this point school was all I had left and Deku was a big part of that.

To feel unsafe and afraid around the main person I could depend on was terrifying. I felt as though I had lost everything I worked so hard for in just a few months.

It almost like some sick people want to read about how much pain I'm in and watch me suffer as the person they ship me with comforts me.

Just kidding... that was a joke...

I felt sick, exhausted, afraid, sad, alone, hopeless, and... happy?

Why did I feel happy?

At this moment I realized I had sat there thinking for a very long time and needed to answer Deku.

"I'm sorry but, I don't think I should. Please talk to me about whatever subject you would have talked to me about another time. I think I need some alone time right now."

I put my emotions as simple and easy to understand for him without over sharing. I didn't want to explain how his presence was making me uncomfortable. That's just rude.

He seemed like he wasn't expecting that answer but took it very well. We said our quick goodbyes and walked opposite ways to our dorms.

I finally got to my dorm where I could have alone time which I had been longing for the whole day. I put my backpack on the floor near my door and jump onto my small bed face first. I had some serious thinking to do.

1. How do I cope?

2. Why do I feel uneasy around Deku?

3. Should I get revenge on the LOV

4. Should I still become a hero?

5. and why do I feel happy in a time so horrid..?

Word count: 717