The Thing about Falling ✓

Twenty Seven • The Party

Owen

I can't believe I actually came.

What the fuck.

There's no turning back now, I guess.  

I was met by Maya over by the entryway into Rockefeller. As soon as I rolled up to her, she shot me an expectant grin and literally yanked one of my hands as she pulled me inside. I was startled by her immediate reaction; I had one hand on the rims of my chair, securing that I don't fall off, and the other was held tightly by Maya's thin, cold hands, our fingers loosely interlacing.

I stared at our hands and felt my own ones go sweaty. How disgusting. I immediately brushed off the image away from my mind because as Maya and I ventured further into the building, I couldn't help but catch myself smiling at what I am seeing because it really did look like something out of Harry Potter.

And the only thing we have in our dorm is Harry Potter night. What a big letdown.

Maya kept her deep, dark brown eyes at me the whole time and was smiling as well, raising her  head up at the brilliant design of the foreign dormitory itself.

"Cool, right?" Maya exclaimed as she brought me over to party central, where students pooled in and out doing whatever such as talking, dancing, and mostly, drinking.

At this point, I realized what exactly I did. My expression immediately fell off my face as soon as I came upon hordes of kids around my age, having the time of their lives. These things must seem all normal to me. I'm turning nineteen in a month and  I was supposed to know how to spend my last years of being a teenager by going to parties, dancing drunk, and having one night stands.

In reality, I don't know anything about those.

I was at a party. A college party.  This was certainly not exactly my cup of tea and there was no way I would find myself, my real self, at such things.

I was a homebody, a couch potato. I literally have an imprint of myself on my bed back at home with my mattress sunk  right in the corner where I usually read or stare out the window, contemplating about life and all things that suck. I was fine with the silence of it all, even when Athena came into the picture. The beautiful quiet of reading and sleeping contrasted quite rashly with the loudness of this party I seem to have crashed.

Looking up, the lights were dimmed low in the halls and strobe lights had been installed around the trim of the ceiling by god knows who; seems like a recipe for a fire hazard. It seemed to be installed rather unsuccessfully since it looked a bit loose. I made a mental note to stay away from the sides in case I break my nose or something.

Unsurprisingly, as Maya and I went deeper into the crowds, I  felt watched.

Very watched.

The feeling was no stranger to me but still, I couldn't help but feel like it was my first time going back to a normal school as a kid in a wheelchair. Even in sixth grade with a few years of homeschooling behind after the accident, I was always seen for the chair, not for my weird quiz bee awards or science projects. It had always been disability first before the person.

But still,

I'm a college freshman, I need to stop thinking about this. I chose a school that was the most inclusive (who actually accepted me) and wheelchair-friendly. Unfortunately from the looks I get, it seems the only exception to this thing are the students.

People's heads turned toward me and I felt so small and out of place, I instinctively gripped the rims of my wheels to a hard turn so I can get out as fast as I can. I need to get out. I have seen what I came here for and I do not mix well with alcohol and people. I throw up from just one drink.  Not many college kids with disabilities end up being invited to parties anyway. Why should I be different from my own kind of people?