The Thing about Falling ✓

Forty Three • Sick Day

Owen

I don't feel so good.

In all the books I have read, I came to the conclusion that I am destined to be hated upon.

It had almost been a week since I saw Athena early in the morning and after that, I came to the realization that I needed to do something. For myself, I mean.

I'm glad I contacted Barb, my physical therapist from home and asked her if she could connect with Sophie, my current one here at university. I have something drastic in mind and though I may not admit it out loud, I am beyond terrified of it.

So I called her.

"Owen, honey, are you sure you want to try this out? You and I both know you aren't the sporty type of person. Do you really want this?" Barb asked, her voice full of hesitation over on the line.

"Yes, Barb. I'm sure." I replied, nodding my head a bit as I adjusted my phone over my ear.

Barb audibly sighed and muttered a bit to herself, and for a moment, I was unsure whether she would gladly help.

Any member of my family is a no-go when it comes to resolving personal problems. They're loud. Really. If I ask them for help, they would question my decisions and tell me off. My siblings enjoy tormenting each other with secrets we've accidentally shared as a form of blackmail, and my parents are, well, parents. I've kept so many things from them out of fear and judgement and as a result, I think I traumatize myself mentally.

I'm in my head too much.

Barb is the next parental figure I have, and one of the only people I don't hesitate to ask for help.

After a long pause, I heard Barb's end of the line crackle and heard some shuffling.

"If that's what you want, then I guess I can find something for you that you'd like." she answered.

Barb helped me look for activities I can do around the area. She knows my physical capabilities more than anyone, even Sophie. She knows what I liked to do and what I absolutely hated. I'm even a little embarrassed she saw me fail and fall face first on the ground multiple times growing up during our sessions.

Later during the week, Barb told me that she got to talk to Sophie and the both of them coordinated and listed things I could do. Ones that would not be much too tasking given that I still have school and a personal life to attend to, that is.

In the end, I listed myself up for one sport.

Tennis.

But almost immediately after, I got sick.

I am definitely not meant for sports.

The first few minutes of trying it out, my breathing was rasp and quick, and my chest started to hurt. It was like my whole body was on fire, and I didn't like how the racket always slipped from my grasp because of how shaky and sweaty my palms were.

I felt so fatigued after doing sports again for the first time in years, I was guessing it started the fever. Or was it a flu? I'm not really sure.

It was horrible.

If the world hates me for some reason completely unknown to me, they could just say it. There's no need to let me go through all of this after things happened.

My head kept throbbing like someone was knocking on it, and I felt sick in my stomach. The whole thing made me dizzy and I felt myself zone in and out whenever I forced myself to go to class.