Break In My Heart

36. Hell Week

The soft patter of water filled the air as I brushed my teeth. The weight of drowsiness tugged at my eyelids as I invested all my weight into the sink ledge I was leaning on. A dull ache was branching out between my eyes and pressing into my temples and my body felt disconnected. I hadn't got more than a blink of sleep last night or the night before. I was afraid he'd wake up alone and scared, haunted by memories from the past and predictions of the future. And every moment between seconds that Sleep did find me and hold me in her sweet embrace, I'd wake up, hearing Tyler's breathing getting too heavy, or feel his muscles twitch beneath his skin.

It was tiring work, but worth it without a doubt.

Discomfort still etched itself into every step that I took, however, after nibbling on some crackers and downing some pain pills, I was starting to feel a bit better, minute by minute.

The cadence of falling water continued on for a few more moments, accompanying the sound of me brushing my teeth, before it was cut off. I instantly tucked away all signs of fatigue and weariness; sitting up straighter and opening my eyes wider. I didn't want Tyler to feel any trace of guilt or shame.

As I finished brushing my teeth, Tyler stepped out of the shower. I watched his reflection dry himself off, however, it was blurry and distorted due to the fog on the mirror. After a few moments, I forced my eyes away and spit all of the toothpaste out of my mouth before I started rinsing my toothbrush. We still had a good hour before we even had to get on the subway and head to school, which would give us plenty of time to relax our minds and prepare for the day. Our first day officially out as a couple. It was crazy.

I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts when I felt a tug on my hips, causing me to jump as I straightened up. Tyler laughed. "Relax, Addi, it's just me."

I weakly chuckled, though my heart was hammering in my chest. In those short ten seconds I wasn't looking at him, I'd momentarily forgotten that he was there. "Oh yeah, sorry. You scared me."

"I can tell," Tyler said as he sobered up and reached past me to clear off the mirror with his hand. "There, that's better," he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist right over my towel that was hanging around my hips and rested his chin on my shoulder. His freshly washed body felt warm against mine as his chest pressed into my bare back. We looked at ourselves in the mirror and I couldn't help but imagine us going through this routine every morning for the rest of our lives. "How are you feeling?"

"Good," I said. "A bit tired, but good." And that was the truth. I felt good, amazing as I stood there in his strong arms.

"Good," he affirmed before he pressed a kiss into my cheek, "because we have a long day ahead of us."

"Long indeed," I agreed as I turned to face him. He leaned in so that he had his hands on the sink ledge on either side of my waist.

"Are you ready for it?"

I nodded. "Are you?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I mean, so much is happening at once, but I'll get through it. I've done it for all of my life so far and I'll keep doing it."

I grinned as I cupped his cheek. "That's my boy."

He put his hand on top of mine before he kissed my palm, his deep eyes locked with mine the whole time. He gave my hand a squeeze before he stepped away. "Alright, get out of here. I need to finish getting ready and you're too much of a distraction."

I rolled my eyes as I made my way to the door. "Sure, you tell me to leave my own bathroom. That sounds right."

"That's right," he said before he delivered a firm slap to my rear, causing me to squeal as I jumped. He laughed as I flipped him off before I hurried back into my room to start getting dressed. Or I would've started getting dressed if some invisible force hadn't pushed me onto my bed and forced me to lay there and not move an inch.