As kids, Leah and Tanner hated each other. To this day, they still do. Tanner Cole is tall, dark, tattooed, and insanely attractive, though his ugly heart drowns all of this out to Leah. At eighteen years old, all Leah wants is to go off to college...
It has been almost two weeks since Tanner and I got back from DC, and we've both gladly slipped back into college life. While I've been busy studying in the library with Ben and Zara to prepare for our upcoming exams, Tanner has been spending more time on the ice to train for his tournament. Neither of us has brought up what happened while we were back home, and though I've spoken to Zara and Ben a little about it, I'm trying my best to put it behind me. Sometimes I find it hard to get it out of my head, though, and stare off into the distance as I reanalyze my relationship with Shawn. Questioning how I never suspected him of doing anything like this. I know Tanner has caught me doing this as he watches me with a worried expression. I quickly try to ease his concerns and put a smile on my face or make a joke about something. It works to an extent, but sometimes I still find him looking at me with a sad expression.
I think in some ways that all of this has caused some strain on our own relationship. Before everything, he would always be touching me in some way, whether it be his arm around my waist or his thumb rubbing up and down the back of my hand. But now he keeps his distance from me and will only give me a chaste kiss when he sees me and when we go our separate ways. It's been troubling me so much that I decide to confide in Zara as she gets ready to head over to Jake's for the night.
I pick up my silver cushion for comfort and hug it against my chest as I watch her throw some clothes in her bag.
"Do you think Tanner's been distant from me? I know he's been busy with his training, but when he's with me, it's like he's not fully there."
Zara freezes momentarily, her back stiffening before she abandons her packing and sits on the edge of her bed to face me.
"I guess he has been trapped in his head a bit. But I'm sure it's got nothing to do with you."
"What else could it be? We were great before I found out about Shawn. And now we're not." I shrug. "Something just feels off."
"Maybe you should talk to him. Tell him how you're feeling." She lifts a shoulder. "It might help with things. Have him come here. I'll be at Jake's so you'll get the place to yourselves to talk."
I sigh. "I don't know if he will agree to it or not. He's avoided being alone with me in a room together since we've come back to college."
"You won't know unless you try," Zara says softly, patting my leg. "Just open up to him about how you feel. That's all you can do." She gives me a small smile.
"At least then you'll know where you stand with him."
I squeeze my cushion tighter to my chest. "I know. But that's the part that's scaring me," I whisper.
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I decide to take Zara's advice and send a quick text to Tanner while he's still in practice.
Even though I have no idea what's going to happen tonight, I still hope for the best outcome possible and grab my bag of toiletries and dash to the communal bathroom to prepare for seeing him.
