drowning under the weight of his secret love for his best friend, kiyoomi finds an outlet when he receives an accidental text from an unknown number. but he might find out that the identity of his mystery confidant isn't as unknown as he thinks.
...
OINKOINKBITCH: shit shit shit shit shit shit shit where TF ARE YOU GUYS IM IN CRISIS HELP
ATSUMU: tf is it that's so important?
OINKOINKBITCH:
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ATSUMU: shiiiiiit wait but u tell him u love him all the time. i mean u tell us u love us all the time???
OINKOINKBITCH: hES NEVER SAID IT BACK BEFORE
YUWUJI: that's really sad
OINKOINKBITCH: STFU AND HELP ME
AWWKAASHI: I'm afraid I don't quite see the problem. Isn't this what you wanted?
OINKOINKBITCH: nO. bc now i don't know if he meant it platonically or romantically and if it's platonically then why start now? wHY START NOW??? but if it's romantically then how do i approach that without giving away my own giant fucking man crush??? BUT WHAT IF I SCARE HIM OFF BY ACTING DISINTERESTED??? this is a nighTMARE. 😫😫😫
AWWKAASHI: I cannot believe you're twenty-seven years old.
ATSUMU: no one can
YUWUJI: so we're not gonna talk abt how he responded to ur paragraph rant with a one word message?
SUGARBABY: seriously dude ?
ATSUMU: okay look, this has a simple solution you make a joke out of it and see if he flirts back see? imma genius 😎
OINKOINKBITCH: no. i am not taking advice from someone who can't even talk to their best friend abt their feelings
AWWKAASHI: Would you like me to explain the irony in your statement?
OINKOINKBITCH: I HEAR IT OKAY istg idk why i go to you guys for help
YACCHAN: just be direct with him kawa-chan. you know that Hajime-San appreciates honesty.
OINKOINKBITCH: thANK YOU YACHI for being the ONLY NON USELESS MEMBER OF THIS GROUP CHAT yeah but i'm still not doing that tho
SUGARBABY: okay oikawa. this is what you have to say:
aww iwachan love loves me??
because it sounds just douchey enough to come from you but will also get you a direct response
OINKOINKBITCH: i should be offended but it'll probably work if it doesn't tho i'm gonna sue u
