sugar daddy

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"All I'm sayin' is that Spider Man is hotter than ninety percent of the MCU. 'Cept Black Widow. I'd marry her an' I'm gay as fuck so," Atsumu defends his standpoint in the debate they've been dragging out for the past half hour with a shrug. Sipping it his peach tea, he rolls his eyes as he chews absently on a tapioca pearl.

"He's sixteen," Kiyoomi grimaces.

"Well Tom Holland is like thirty."

"He's twenty-four," Kiyoomi turns to look at him like he's an absolute idiot, peeling plush lips from his purple straw - Atsumu has a love-hate relationship with Kiyoomi's mouth, so rarely on display in public. "He's literally younger than you."

"Okay, semantics, how was I s'posed ta know that?" Atsumu forces his eyes back to the sidewalk in front of him, reluctantly peeling his eyes away from those perfect lips. "It's not like I spend my time memorizin' the ages a' celebrities. Wait- How do you know that? Huh?"

Kiyoomi just rolls his beautiful eyes - people think sparkling eyes are the epitome of beauty, but they clearly haven't seen Kiyoomi Sakusa's eyes, like black holes that eat up the surrounding light and draw you in like a spell, irrevocably enchanted. Atsumu has never seen anything more gorgeous.

"All I'm saying is that guys are generally more attractive to me when they're over the legal age of consent."

"Yeah, well over, considerin' yer top pick fer hottest MCU guy is fuckin' Doctor Strange."

"Are you calling Doctor Strange old?" Kiyoomi raises an eyebrow, obviously trying to sound offended but coming off more amused than anything else.

"Uh, yeah," Atsumu rolls his eyes - it's only half-true. Atsumu won't lie and say he's ugly, but he's not going to give the spiker the satisfaction of admitting that Steven Strange might be the slightest bit hot. "Like, so old. Wait, oh my god Omi, are ya into that? Ya like older men? Oh my god, y'want Doctor Strange ta be yer sugar daddy!"

Then Kiyoomi laughs - not a snort or a scoff but a laugh, a real, actual, gorgeous laugh like something a Greek god would engineer for a fucking wood nymph. And Atsumu was the one to draw it out of him.

The setter's entire being buzzes with renewed energy, a sugary high that has him grinning like an idiot around his boba tea straw. Fuck it all to hell, Kiyoomi Sakusa wins Most Perfect Human Being. Atsumu won't even compete anymore.

"You got there on your own. Which I'm thinking means that your true desire is for Doctor Strange to be your sugar daddy," Kiyoomi gives him that barely-there smirk, the one that makes his knees go weak.

Doctor Strange ain't shit compared ta you, he almost says, catching himself with his mouth hanging open like an idiot, stupid smile still tugging at his lips.

He stops himself before he effectively shoots himslef in the foot, instead opting for,

"That's some Freud shit right there."

Kiyoomi wrinkles his nose, "I'm one hundred percent sure you're talking about the Oedipus Complex and that's not even close to the same thing."

Right. Sometimes Atsumu forgets Kiyoomi minored in psychology - gets quite fucking annoying at times, he'll be the first to admit.

"But he's the weird sex psychologist, right?" Atsumu, on the other hand, has a very limited knowledge of psychology. Or really anything to do with the human brain. "He was all like, 'everyone wants to fuck their moms' or somethin'."

"Okay, well, no," Kiyoomi says, shaking his head as if he can erase what Atsumu just said from his memory. "That definitely was not his only contribution to the field of psychology. It's one theory and it's not even his biggest- You know what, no. Me suggesting that you're projecting your desire for Doctor Strange to be your sugar daddy onto me is not Freudian psychology. That was just a general observation because you're a whore."

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