Once upon a lifetime

Revelations - Part one

Revised 24/06/23

Hey, all! Sorry for the late update, I got super duper lazy and also picked up crochet along the way! But here's the draft I pretty much wrote out of boredom during class, lol :)

***

For as long as he could remember, Lan Wangji had always been alone.

From the moment of his mother's death to his gradual progression into adulthood, he'd always recalled being more passive and listless than his peers; whereas they would joke around and make friends, he remained as stoic as ever, if a little jealous of both their privileges and his incapability.

Lan Wangji had always been alone — had never truly loved — ever since that unfortunate day of his mother's passing. She had died, leaving her life far too incomplete, with still so much to do: she was to watch her children grow, watch as they evolve into adults and until they, too, found someone they love and started a family. But Qingheng-Jun took away that freedom and locked both her and himself away from the world, never to be seen by the public ever again.

Following his mother's death, Lan Wangji, too, had locked himself away. But instead of a pretty house surrounded by plentiful gentians, the prison he hid himself inside — like a wall of protection — was himself.

And inscribed on these thick walls were three thousand rules that Lan Wangji abided by as a moral code. He had a boringly consistent routine for each day that would be followed precisely without fail, save for those rare moments he would enter closed door cultivation.

Lan Wangji would often find himself in his mother's small house, playing the qin to a person who was no longer there. (She would seat him on her lap and they'd pluck the strings together, her hands guiding his own across the instrument. Now, whenever he hears the sound of the zither, he thinks of her sweet voice and kind words).

But no matter how hard he tried, he could not replicate that beautiful sound his mother would make the qin produce. It frustrated him, sometimes, for he was arguably the best in his sect at playing the instrument (many masters had attempted to teach him to ease his worries, yet none were up to par with his level of mastery) but eventually, he gave up, knowing that one must follow his one's voice, and not try to imitate another's. Instead, he would construct his own voice, greatly inspired by her kind and gentle heart.

And then, for the first time, Lan Wangji's regular routine was interrupted when he arrived.

Wei Wuxian unintentionally peeled down his meticulously crafted walls, thawed his heart and broke Lan Wangji out of his prison of ice. And when Lan Wangji refused and coldly turned down his many offers of friendship, Wei Wuxian took him by the hand and led him to a different path anyway.

He was the only one Lan Wangji had met who had managed to so flawlessly manipulate their way into his thoughts, bend his pride and beliefs, and crush his morals into tiny little fragments, only to rewrite all three thousand rules Lan Wangji followed with his own two hands.

It wasn't long before Lan Wangji had longed for him to stay for longer. Maybe for another year, he told himself. Wei Ying should stay for longer. He still needs discipline and to be righted into conduct.

But it was a lie. And lying was forbidden in Cloud Recess.

Except Wei Ying taught him that sometimes it's okay to lie. He taught Lan Wangji many things — things that, in the past, Lan Wangji would have loathed to do. Have loathed to even think of doing.

Wei Ying had to leave Cloud Recess early, unfortunately. He left on the day Lan Wangji had intended to show him the rabbits he'd kept. The ones he'd hidden behind the mountain, where no one could unintentionally stumble upon them... And, he thought, maybe it was for the better.