e l e v e n

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J I M I N

I fucked up.

I didn't know what I thought it would be a good idea to try and get over Y/N, even if for a few moments.

It was my birthday and the moment I had woken up, the one thought that had continuously filled my mind was of Y/N. I was overwhelmed by the intensity of that foreign feeling to the point of actually hating Y/N for leaving me in such a pathetic state of mind.

Somewhere in the fucked up part of my brain I was unhappy of how she was making me want to change myself.

She was just a girl.

Just another woman.

Sure, she was pretty. But so were other women.

In fact, I knew hundreds of other women who were a million times more prettier and sexier than her and yet she was the one making me change my clothes again and again, making me try this hairstyle and that, making me wonder whether she liked men who wore make up or not... making me think that my birthday wouldn't be complete if I didn't see her face today.

I realised that regardless of her status and cold personality, I desperately needed her in my life even if she didn't want to be a part of it.

I hated the thought of begging her to be mine.

I hated that I needed her to the point that I had to do what I did.

I had to at least try to get over her.

Who was she to make me feel like this anyway?

She was just a stubborn girl who was determined to push me away.

Why did I, Park Jimin, have to beg her and chase after her?

As someone who'd depended on very few people to reach where I was today, I couldn't stomach the thought of actually needing some random stranger whom I'd only met once or twice, to feel happy.

So I did the only thing I could think of.

"Could I have a minute with you?" I called out to Mikyung. She was one of the recently recruited staff members at the company and although she was mainly here to assist the stylists, she sometimes also provided sexual relief to the artists.

Mikyung was what you could call a clout chaser. She was always after climbing the social and the corporate ladder even if that meant engaging in illicit casual relationships with the members.

But I didn't care in that moment.

She was everything Y/N was not—exactly what I thought I needed.

I had no idea that Y/N was going to visit the company today and I just pulled Mikyung into my studio, eager to have her lips pressed onto mine just so that I could stop imagining what it would feel like to have Y/N's lips move against mine.

"Jimin, what's wrong?" Mikyung looked up shrewdly as I kissed her desperately.

But the desperation I felt wasn't to kiss her, it was for the desperation to actually feel something in that kiss.

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