Bsd one-shots (mostly decay of angles)

Just leave me - fyodor

⚠️TW:SH,MENTION OF DEATH⚠️

You could hear a loud ringing noise,there was white,shit you cut to deep.

"[name]?",oh no, "what are you doing?" He sounded scared? No he couldn't be; "f-feyda, hey I didn't hear you come home" you put on a smile for him.he quickly made his way over to you,taking the razor from your hand,your cheeks were stained with your tears and blood was dripping for your arms.

You couldn't look at him you were to ashamed to, "my love, what happened? Why did you do this to your self?",you didn't say anything you couldn't;it was like there was something stuck in your throat and you were starting to feel a bit faint,your consciousness started to slip away and the last thing you could hear was fyodor calling your name.

You woke up in your shared bed,your head throbbing and lips dry,as you were sitting up from your laying position you noticed your arm was bandaged and then you remembered fyodor walking in unexpectedly,now you were going to have to face him.

You leaned you back against the head bored of the bed,staring at your arm...he really took time to bandage you up even though you hurt yourself? You didn't even deserve him,why was he with you in the first place? It's not like your good at anything except slicing your own skin,why hasn't he left you yet? You just couldn't process it,it didn't make sense to you

As you were in your thoughts,you heard the bedroom door open,your lovely boyfriend appearing form behind it,he was holding a mug of what looked like tea and a small smile came to his face when he saw you were awake.
"You were out for a bit,I'm glad your awake" he said while setting the mug down on the small table beside your bed and sitting down opposite you, "do you wanna talk about it?" Silence, "it's ok if you don't,just please... don't that again,I got really worried when you passed out" "I'm sorry" you fiddled with your finger a bit not wanting to look at him, "can I know why? You don't have to,I'm just curious",you were a bit hesitant, "I was just a bit stressed,there's not much to it" ,lair, "are you sure?" He cupped your cheek and made you look at him.

"feyda" you started "why are you still with me?" He was a bit taken back by the question "it's not like I'm useful or anything,I just hang around,I'm extra weight on your back and you obviously don't want just something that's gonna be dead soon around for no reason" you were tearing up a bit,you never shared your feelings with him,your feelings were things you preferred to keep to yourself "what are you saying, of course your not going to be useful your not an object and your not extra weight on my back your my partner,the partner that I love with all my heart,why else would I be with you?" You just stared at him was he telling you the truth or was he just pitying you,he spoke again, "why do you think of yourself in such a way my love?" He was confused,was there something he did to make you feel this way? Or have you always felt like this?

"Because it's true,I'm not useful for anything and what are you gaining from loving me? It's just gonna hurt you when I die,so...just leave me already there's no point any more" it broke his heart,did you hate him? Why were you so keen on the idea of you dying and leaving him behind "[name] what are you talking about,do you not want to be with me anymore? Is this you trying to break up with me,if so you could've just told me and I would've understood." At this point he was feeling new emotions,he was sad? No,hurt? Maybe,angry? Yes but not at you,he was angry at himself for letting you feel this way for so long and how did he not notice anything.

"It's not that fyo,I love you but why are you still with me? Why are you with me in the first place" ,he was starting to understand but he wasn't liking what you were saying, "I think it would be better for you to leave me,I mean it's not like I'm the prettiest or smartest of people,it would be for your plans if you'd just leave me and my pathetic soul" tears were threatening to spill from your eyes

"I think that if I leave you we both might lose our sanity,I feel so alone without you,your everything to me and you always will be,my heart belongs to you"

He tilted your head up and and placed a soft kiss on your lips.

"I love you more than anything [name] and I'm never going to leave you,your stuck with me" he pulled you into a hug ,making sure to be careful of your arm, rubbing circles into your back to confront you "your life is precious to me,more precious to me than my own life"

This is really long for no reason
This is kinda vent? Idk I'm gonna write a smut next for yall s be ready for that
Thanks for reading <3