I never got to say goodbye - nikolai

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(TW:Death)

How could he have let this happen?How could he have been so stupid?

He stood over your grave just staring at it with empty eyes,it was raining,you loved the rain you found the rain calming and peaceful.He looked up at the sky hoping to see you one more time but you weren't there,he could still hear your angelic laughs,your beautiful smile and everything else about you.

He felt like a failure,he felt useless. His job was to protect you and he failed at his one job,his soul purpose to live and if he failed at that what good was he? What was the point of him? He thought he should just kill him self,then he'd get to see you again.

He crouched to the level of your tombstone and leaned his forehead on the edge of it, "I'm sorry [name],I'm so sorry" he landed a soft kiss on your tombstone. His eyes started to fill up with tears,he couldn't take this, how was he supposed to live without you? You were his only purpose to live so what was he meant to do? Just roam around like some lost puppy for the rest of his days, seemed pretty pathetic to him.

"Niko,do you promise to love me forever?" You looked into his cheerful eyes "Of course I will!Who else am I supposed to love?" You both giggled, you laid your head on his shoulder, "I love you niko" he held you tight "I love you more"

He couldn't hold his tears back,his memories of you just wouldn't leave him alone, he started sobbing against your tombstone;he broke his promise to you and he hates himself for it,he promised he'd love you forever and swore to himself that he'd always keep you safe,so he lied to both you and himself - was he really that stupid?

He wanted to marry you,have a family with you,live his life and become old with you,but his own stupidity ruined all that could've been. He couldn't stop blaming himself,he felt like he was falling into a deep black hole, and was burying himself alive with his own actions slowly but surly.

All he saw in front of him was death and pain, nothing was left for him he didn't have any family,no friends,you were all he had and now you were gone,gone forever.

He finally went back home,no he went back to where you two used to live,it wasn't home with out you.He went to the bedroom and sat down on the bed,the bed you used to share,he just sat there for a bit collecting his thoughts.after a bit he decided to open his phone,he looked through your past messages and came across a voice note and when he listened to your calm and peaceful voice he broke down completely.

"Hey niko! I just wanted to ask you if you could pass a store and buy some things, the fridge is almost empty.Thank you baby!"

He listened to your voice over and over tears spilling from his eyes,he left the messages and opened his camera roll which was filled of videos and pictures of you and him,he pressed on one of the videos which looked like you two cooking.

He heard his voice first "Make sure you don't burn it" "I WON'T" "I feel like you're gonna burn it" "IM GONNA BURN YOU IN A SECOND" the video ended with you two laughing,he chuckled to himself slightly recalling the incident - you did in fact almost burn him.

"I miss you [name],please come back" he whispered into your pillow that he was hugging

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I like writing sad things tbh,this was kinda a ramble so yeah 😬

Well I hope this made you sad since that was the goal but a smut if coming soon so don't be too sad

Thanks for reading<3

Request by: potterweeb2678

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