The Ordinary Haunting II

BONUS 5.5 New and the Unexpected Detour

I finished my bad motel canned beer and dropped onto my pillow. There were triangles on the ceiling. Grey shadows cast by the metal casement on the window beside me. I tried adjusting the tatty curtain but its creases were old and stubborn. I remembered someone once describing the gritty feeling of motel sheets as having 'history' in them, and I thought this place was probably full of history.

Not history anyone would be interested in. Like that abandoned train station we went to today. Little more than rust and graffiti and termites. No-one looking after it. Tay appreciated it, though. Somehow he spent a full 45 minutes taking pictures of the forgotten thing.

I looked over at his side of the room. Flat on his back, three limbs thrown out of the covers, mouth open, eyes clenched shut. Really clenched, fighting off his nature to be awake like a clenched fist fights off its nature to swing. I hoped he'd find his version of sleep. I didn't know what I'd do without sleep. Without ever pressing reset and starting a new day in a new mind.

At any rate, there were no creepy shadows over Tay's bed – his window was free of obstructions and showed the deep starry sky above the mountain. It was darker out here than in the city. I wasn't sure I was comfortable with that, even though I'd grown up in a place similar enough to this. There was only one light on in the carpark outside our room, and its light fell almost too short to reach the ground. Just a flat sketch of Tay's rectangular face was visible: his high cheekbones and small chin; his easy brow and strong nose. The little upturn of the corner of his lips that was tugged around so often by the puppet strings of his smiles.

"Do you really think no-one's been interested in you all this time?"

"I don't think so."

I didn't know who was the bigger dumbass: Tay, or every person who never showed him enough of their interest to make him see them.

A last drop of condensation caught my eye as it scooted down the side of my beer can on the table next to me.

I'd been a dumbass too.

Earth had been drinking beer that night. We both had, but Earth could never hold it very well. Fifteen minutes and he'd be flushed red. Twenty minutes and he'd be brooding vermilion. Sooner, if he'd had a bad day, which was usually the only reason he drank anyway.

Ma had been gone for about two months by then. Pan, maybe three. With her, I guessed it was a lesson someone thought I had to learn: Push people away and they leave, allow people to stay and they will. Obvious logic I'd got confused somewhere, sometime.

I'd always assumed it was: Push people away and if they stay they're the good ones.

Yeah, not too many people besides Earth stayed. Maybe Pleum and his family, if I'd lived closer. Not that I would have wanted to be around Doe in those early stages. Poor kid didn't know what was happening as it was.

"Why did you reject Earth?"

The voice was quietly restrained. Soft but clear as always. Honest. I kept my eyes on the faint triangles above. "I decided I knew his feelings better than he did."

"You do that a lot?" Less restrained.

"I trust my instincts...which I'm starting to accept are probably a bit biased."

"Most instincts are. What did you think his feelings were?"

"He's such a good guy." I exhaled and imagined my breath falling back on top of me. "He gets his dopamine from helping people. Like singing and playing for people. I figured it wasn't that he liked me, it was just that he liked taking care of me."