| 26 | a monster in me

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All I see is a monster in me
The monster is me
I want to be the hero you need
I want to be brave, I want to believe
But I take all the light and make it go black
Who could love somebody like that?
- Milck

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- Victorine -

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- Victorine -

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The witch turned around without waiting for my answer.

"But Hekate-," I wanted to object.

"It's important. Trust me." Hekate had turned her crooked back to me and made no effort to turn again. The voice in which she had spoken was not urgent. But neither had it carried the slightest doubt.

Hesitantly, I turned to Nicolas, suppressing the urge to attempt to penetrate his soul. Did he also wonder if we would meet again in time? Would the war take either of us out of existence before we could even say goodbye to each other?

Silently, I turned to Hekate. "Then we'd better hurry."

The two ravens lifted off her shoulders and landed on the dumpsters in front of the witch. The latter now raised both hands, one pointed at each of the birds. My eyes widened as the ravens screeched and slowly grew in size. The birds' skin burst open, but the wounds were almost instantly covered by newly growing skin and new, larger feathers. Their heads, feet, bodies and wings continued to grow until the dumpsters gave way under the bird's weight, bending and slowly collapsing.

Hekate lowered her hands, walked up to one of the ravens, and swung onto its back. "Are you coming?"

Hesitantly, I walked toward the bird, which was much larger than me and would have no trouble supporting my weight. Its eyes looked at me warningly, the claws of its feet scraping lightly across the ground.

I tried to breathe calmly as I slowly approached him. Gently, I reached out an arm, getting ready to pull him away again in case he snapped at it with his huge beak. But that didn't happen. I touched him on the side of his body and gently stroked his soft feathers.

The raven lowered his head and body so that I could climb up better. Carefully, I swung one leg over him and then pulled myself up. As I sat on him, I put my hands on the sides of his neck to hold on at least a little.

I looked back at Vane and Nicolas. But Hekate did not wait even a second longer. A single "go" from her mouth made my raven stretch out its massive wings. My eyes were still on Nicolas as the raven pushed itself off the ground and took off into the air.

I held on tighter to the bird and glanced down, where the houses and huts were getting smaller and smaller. The raven I was sitting on followed Hekate's, flying a little ahead of us.

With a heavy heart, I gazed at Cephas' castle in the distance, while the entire kingdom below us grew smaller and smaller. I had not expected to ever fly again. My throat burned as I thought of Deidamia. For a moment I closed my eyes and remembered all the moments we had flown together. Remembered her warm, scaly skin, her soft eyes, and the movements her body had made as we flew.

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