Jenny Joyce and the choir stand on stage singing horribly in the morning assembly. Maeve stands beside Michelle, a disgusted look on her face as she watches.
"Sweet Jesus." Michelle deadpans and Maeve turns to her,
"How many fucking songs does she want to destroy?"
"Uh, wonderful girls - lovely stuff," Sister Michael stands up when they finally get off the stage, "Before I dismiss you for the weekend, a few announcements: on Monday morning, several of our year thirteens will face their GCSE maths resit. Now, I know how daunting resit examinations can be so if anyone is feeling anxious or worried, or even if you just want to chat, please, please, do not come crying to me."
Maeve snickers at her words, earning a few looks that quickly turned away when they realised who she was.
"Let me see, what else?"
"Come on, come on, come on to fuck." Michelle chants quietly, impatiently waiting for the trip announcement.
"Notice from Mr. Macaulay: this year's destination for the Euro Trotters trip will be, dramatic pause...did you actually want me to do the dramatic pause?" She asks a teacher who nods, "Interesting...Paris, it's going to be in Paris. If you need any further information, there is a stall in the foyer. Sadly, I am unable to come on this one, as I despise the French."
She then begins the morning prayer, Maeve happily following along with a wide smile on her face.
-
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After assembly, the group begin to make their way over to the stall.
"There's so much I want to do," Clare explains, "The Champ-Élysées, the Arc de Triomphe, the Louvre."
"A French fella." Michelle butts in and both Clare and Maeve scoff, "That's what I want to do. Nation of rides - my fanny's going funny just thinking about it."
"Could you not use that word, Michelle?" Erin asks, disgust covering her face.
"What, fanny?"
"Ach, Michelle - you're really don't understand this innocence thing." Maeve holds her purity bracelet up to the girl's face and she pushes it away.
"Why do you have to be so coarse?" Clare adds.
"Ach, what's the big deal? We all have one." Michelle defends herself.
"I don't." James interjects and Michelle is quick to snap back at him,
"You are one."
"Of course, Beckett lived in Paris and if anybody's influenced my writing, it's-" Erin rambles and Michelle interrupts her.
"What, Brenda Beckett from 12A?"
"No! Not Brenda Beckett - Beckett Beckett."
"If we go to Paris," Orla speaks up, "Is like to meet Nicole."
"Who's Nicole?" James asks.
"For god's sake, how many times? It's just an ad, she's not a real person - neither is Papa."
"Be good conversation practice as well," James ignores the cousins' interaction, "You know, for the orals."
"Which will be the only oral that you-"
"Yeah, okay Michelle."
"You didn't let me finish."
"Well, I sensed where you were going."
Michelle smirks before leaning to talk into Maeve's ear, "Blowjobs."
"Michelle!" The blonde girl yells, "I will not tell you again - next time I'm telling Aidan."
"Did you just threaten me with my twin brother?" Michelle scoffs in disbelief and Maeve nods confidently,
"Aye, I'd do it again too!"
Michelle stares at the girl for a moment before realisation covers her face and she leans to whisper in the girls ear, "Time of the month, Mae?"
"Aye, is it that obvious?" She asks as she clutches her lower stomach, "My belly hurts a wee bit, Michelle."
Michelle rolls her eyes slightly as she pulls two ibuprofens out of her pocket and hands them to her best friend, "How do you forget to take painkillers every time?"
Maeve shrugs as she dry swallows the tablets, both girls tuning back into the conversation - watching as a popular girl, Charlene, walks away from the group.
"You know what I admire most about you Erin?" Clare asks, Michelle and Maeve sharing a confused look, "Your unshakeable principles."
"Bonjour!" Jenny greets them as they approach the stall, Maeve rolling her eyes at the girl, "Tout le monde. Comment allez-vous?"
"Tais-toi, salope ennuyeuse." Maeve tells the girl, who gasps dramatically.
"Wise up, Jenny." Michelle adds, ignoring her best friend's French.
"Where do we sign?"
"Hold on, stall the fucking ball." Michelle exclaims, "£375? Are you for real?"
"What?" Erin gasps, her eyes set on Jenny, "£375 each? Isn't there some sort of group discount?"
"It's not club 18 to 30," Jenny replies and Maeve rolls her eyes
"More's the pity." Michelle states.
"It is a bit steep, Jenny." Clare speaks up before Jenny defends herself,
"Just dip into your trust fund, I do it all the time." She gestures to Maeve, "So does Maeve."
James looks towards the blonde girl in shock, "You speak to Jenny outside of school?"
"She's our neighbour, our Mammys are friends." Maeve explains before muttering not so quietly, "Unfortunately."
"It's like an account your parents set up for you to help pay for things like university, your first car, educational trips." Jenny explains what a trust fund is.
"I did not know about this." Erin shakes her head, turning to Michelle, "Did you know about this?"
"No, did I fuck." She turns to give Maeve an accusatory look, "Why didn't you tell us?"
"I didn't know that you didn't know about it." The girl shrugs, placing a lollipop in her mouth.
"Trust fund, you say?" Erin asks again and both Jenny and Maeve nod, "Interesting."
YOU ARE READING
STYLE • Derry Girls
ספרות חובבים"You've got that long hair slicked back, white T-shirt and I got that good girl faith in a tight little skirt, And when we go crashing down, we come back every time, 'Cause we never go out of style" {Style - Taylor Swift} Maeve Murphy; a girl from...
