Painful Memories

Chapter 3

A chill ran down my spine as I glanced from Kai to Jesper, noting the worry in the latter's eyes. Kai swam to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "What's going on, Jesper?" His voice was low and tense as he spoke.

Jesper swallowed hard, taking a breath. "There's been a—"

His speech was suddenly cut off, a choked sound escaping his lips as the tip of a dagger suddenly poked out from just above his rib cage. I screamed, lunging for him a heartbeat before he fell. I grunted under his weight, hot blood gushing from the wound and coating my hands.

I caught a flash of black disappearing from behind him, a glimpse of a tail. Then everything happened at once. I heard Kai grunt as he swam beside me and took some of the weight. I refused to let go, focusing on Jesper's deathly pale face, his labored breathing. "Hang on, Jesper," I kept saying, my vision blurring as tears gathered in my eyes. "You'll be okay. Just hang on. Someone help," I screamed.

He gripped my hand, eyes locked on mine. "It... was a... a great honor... to serve you, Princess." Each word was a struggle. I saw his chest rise once... twice... before ceasing. His eyes went blank, his body limp in my arms. It was as if the weight of a thousand bodies came down on me. I felt every loss I'd suffered keenly, as if they were happening all over again. King Drake. Eliza.

I bent double, one arm wrapped around my middle, the other clapped over my mouth in an attempt to stifle the heartbreaking wails that were this close to escaping. I'd felt pain before—when the aforementioned deaths had occurred—but this was different. Jesper had been with us for barely two years. I didn't know anything about him—if he had any family, if they were living or dead.

I finally just let the dam break, tears gushing down my cheeks like a faucet being turned on. Kai gently set Jesper's body on the ground before turning back to me. I buried my head in his chest, feeling like my heart had been sliced in half.

"Isadora? Kai? What's going on?" Queen Katrina's soft, worried voice filled my ears as she swam up to us. She fell silent as her gaze landed on Jesper's body, a thousand emotions flashing across her face. Her voice was calm and firm when she spoke again. "Kai, get Jay to help..." She swallowed hard, glancing at me. "Dispose of the body. Isadora, come with me."

I couldn't move. I couldn't think. My arm was still wrapped around my middle, eyes locked on Jesper's limp body. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to explode; my breathing was quick and shallow. When Queen Katrina placed her hand on my arm, I flinched. "Come with me," she repeated softly.

My first thought was to refuse; to demand I stay by Jesper's side. He'd died protecting me—the least I could do was bury him. But exhaustion quickly won out, my weary body finally giving in. I dimly felt Queen Katrina put her arm around me and lead me away. I flinched at every noise, keenly aware of the dried blood on my clothes. We got to her suite door before the tears returned with a vengeance.

My body shuddered violently with the force of my tears; the sobs that tore from me were loud and heartbreaking. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the light leave Jesper's eyes. Heard his last words to me. "'It... was a... a great honor... to serve you, Princess.'"

The flash of black reappeared in my mind, along with the glimpse of a tail. Queen Katrina held me upright as we slowly made our way inside. "Do you need anything? A bath, maybe a change of clothes?"

The words hadn't even finished echoing before I reached the bathing room. I closed the door behind me, ripping my dress off. Dried blood caked my hands and fingernails. The sight of blood—Jesper's blood—was enough to trigger a panic attack.

Instead of letting the panic consume me, however, I took a deep breath in and held it for a few seconds. Slowly exhaling, I pushed the panic, fear, and anger out in the water where it couldn't touch me. I was on autopilot as I vigorously scrubbed my entire body, watching the blood swirl down the drain.

When I finally emerged, clean and dressed in a loose purple-and-gray sundress, Queen Katrina had sent for food. Two trays of shrimp and bubble tea sat on the dresser, making my stomach grumble despite myself. "When was the last time you ate?" She asked, the question so motherly it nearly brought me to tears.

I realized, with stark clarity, that I couldn't remember when I'd last eaten. We'd missed breakfast this morning (obviously, everyone had), and I hadn't had a chance to grab something yet. "Last night, maybe," I replied, my voice hollow.

Truthfully, even looking at food was enough to make me nauseous. I couldn't get the image of Jesper bleeding out of my head. His last words forever played on a loop in my head, taunting me. "'It... was a... a great honor... to serve you, Princess.'"

I was numb, but I vaguely heard Queen Katrina coaxing me to eat. When I couldn't stomach any more, I just stared at nothing. The knock, when it came, barely registered in my head. She squeezed my hand before swimming to the door and opening it.

Muted voices reached my ears, speaking quickly. "Has she eaten anything?" Dad. "A few pieces of shrimp. She's barely said more than a few words." Queen Katrina.

Hearing Dad's voice was enough to break me out of the haze that had fallen over me. "Daddy?" My voice broke. He swam over to my side, eyes filled with concern. I flinched when I noticed the dried blood on his clothes.

"I—Is Kai..." I trailed off, unable to continue. As the words left my mouth, I noticed his pallor, the exhaustion in his eyes. What had he seen in the minutes, hours, following Jesper's death? Again, the flash of black, the glimpse of a tail reappeared in my mind. Should I even mention it to him?

Dad put a hand on my cheek. "Kai is working with Troy to get in touch with Jesper's parents. Nerissa and I have been..." It was his turn to trail off. He avoided my gaze as he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand.

"What, Dad?" His hesitation made my heart stop.

"We discovered the identity of Jesper's killer. Apparently, Brandon had gotten a message from Queen Naia with the order to dispose of the princess, whatever it took." The last three words were spoken with no shortage of barely-contained restraint.

I shook my head, still not understanding. "So, Jesper wasn't the intended target?" Realization slammed into me with the force of a dagger as the words left my mouth, as his words finally sank in. No—I was.

The water disappeared from my body in a rush as her plan slowly unfolded before me. She'd known that I would be hard, nearly impossible, to kill, so she'd decided to take out those closest to me. One by one, until I was the only one left.

Jesper was just the beginning. My heart lurched as her words from years ago floated back to me, filled with years' worth of pain and grief. "'A weak princess.'" "'A broken queen and an orphaned king.'"

My own words surfaced in my head, filled with the same pain and grief. "'All I see is a weak, scared, broken mermaid who takes advantage of others to get what she wants.'"

Now looking back, I realized that a small, petty, jealous part of me had actually meant those things. At the time, I hadn't even known what I was going to say—only that I wanted to wound her as she'd eventually wound me.

I shook my head, coming back to the present. "So what happens now?"

Dad shook his head, rubbing a hand over his face. "I wish I knew."

When the knock sounded on the suite door, it took everything in me not to flinch. A hand hovering over the dagger at my side, I made my way to the door, Dad following close behind. "Hello?" I called out as I got closer.

I heard Kai's voice from the other side, his tone edged with... something. "Izzy, there's someone out here who wants to meet you."

I couldn't put my finger on it, but I wrapped my fingers around the hilt of the dagger nonetheless as I opened the door. Kai was floating in front of us, alongside a mermaid with shoulder-length black hair and blue eyes and a merman with blond hair and green eyes.

I was momentarily taken aback, but quickly recovered, dipping my chin as they bowed. "Your Highnesses, Your Majesty," the mermaid said, glancing at me and Kai, then Dad. "I'm Asia West, and this is my husband, Roan. Our son Jesper spoke very highly of you, Princess. He was so excited to be promoted to your guard."

Kai moved to my side just as I faltered, gripping my hand. I took a steadying breath, all the while preparing myself for what was surely going to be one of the toughest conversations of my life.

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