The Way I Loved You | Tobias Eaton

thirteen

Tobias

Fallon looks rightfully overwhelmed. Shit. Maybe I've pushed it too far.

Turning on her heels, she starts to weave through the crowds, which is no easy task seeing as to how everyone is in the midst of celebrating the addition of all the new initiates.

I shove through the crowd after her. It would probably be a good idea to give her some space. But I know for a fact that I'll be practically climbing the walls with worry if I didn't make sure that she was okay- that we were okay.

"Fal-" I reach out to snag her elbow as we turn into an empty hallway.

"I left my Mom behind," She breathes, "I thought maybe this change would be good. That maybe I could stop wishing that you'll come back for me or I would stop constantly seeing the ghost of you that haunted me every time I closed my eyes."

Fallon takes one look at my face and exhales sharply, running a hand across her face. "God, this is coming out wrong." She mumbles under her breath, "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to make you feel bad, Tobias. I just-"

"You never have to explain yourself to me, Fal." I cut off her rambling, "I get it, I do. The bottom line is that I hurt you. Intentionally or not, I did that. I don't know how to salvage this and the thought that there's a chance that I can't is killing me. But make no mistake, Fal. If there's a chance you'll still want me- and I think there is- I'm not letting it slip."

Fallon chews on her lips nervously, her eyes gazing at me with a sense of uncertainty I haven't seen in them since the day we'd first met and she couldn't decide whether or not she should join me under our tree.

"I need some time to think, Toby."

I nod, "You have it. Regardless of how much time you need, I'll be here whenever you're ready."

"I just...This is all I've ever known, Tobias. And sometimes I wonder if the feelings between us are even normal." She lets out a self-deprecating laugh, "If love is this amazing and life-changing thing, I don't know if it's supposed to hurt this much." Tears well up in her eyes and she quickly blinks them away, "Just yesterday I thought that I would never see you again, and so I did what I had to do; I moved on. Or at least I tried to. And now...I don't know how to feel. I don't even know what I was thinking when I made the decision to leave and now, seeing you...it's just a lot to take in."

Her words send a pang through my chest and as much as it pains me, I also realise that I need to give her some space to breathe.

"Okay," I say, "So, we go back to where we started. As friends. And then, we see where this takes us. No expectations. We'll just be...us."

"Friends?" She mutters and I found myself hating how small she sounded.

As much as I hated the idea of Fallon not being mine again, I nodded in reply.

"Friends."

"And we'll see where that takes us?"

I nodded again, "Exactly."

"Okay," She says as she takes a step back, "I'm just going to..." Fallon jerks her chin in the direction of the dorms before she scurries off.

I stay rooted to the spot where I stood when what I really wanted to do was to go after her.

After spending so much time apart, I didn't ever want to be separated from her again.

A heavy hand drapes across my shoulders, pulling me out of my thoughts. I didn't even need to look to know that it was Zeke standing beside me.

"Are you going to tell me who she is?" He questions.

I shrug his hand off of me with a sigh, "How much of our conversation did you hear?"

He snorts, "Not nearly enough. Don't you usually tell your best friend things like this? In fact, as your best friend, I think it's my right to know."

Rolling my eyes at him, I start making my way down the hall- in the direction that leads me away from Fallon. Mostly because I knew that I'll want to seek her out otherwise and that wasn't what she needed right now.

"So?" Zeke urges and I let out a grunt in annoyance.

"Her name's Fallon," I say.

I doubt that'll mean much to him. Sure, I've told him about Fallon in the past, but I've never mentioned her by name. Zeke likes to refer to her as my 'one that got away'.

I guess in a way, he was right. But I'll be damned if I let her get away again. This time, I'm doing everything in my power to make her mine. To make her stay mine.

Zeke's eyes dart between me and over his shoulder, towards the hallway where Fallon had disappeared.

"Fallon," He drawls as if he doesn't quite know what to make of it, but I know the moment he figures it out because his eyes brighten in an instant.

"No way!" He exclaims, "She's the one! I mean, she's your one. The one. Your one."

At this point, he's getting so excited he doesn't even make any sense.

"Shit, man. Did she come here for you?"

I shake my head, "She didn't even know I was here." That was a hell of a coincidence that still had me in awe.

"Damn, that's something, huh?" He says thoughtfully, "It's like fate wants you guys together."

Fate. I don't think I've ever believed much in it. Now, it's still up for debate, but there's a chance that I might have a change of heart.

"Since when did you become so damn poetic?" I tease, wanting to steer the subject away from Fallon because all this talk about her makes me want to see her again.

Zeke throws his head back in laughter, slinging his hand over my shoulder again as he guides me back to the dining hall.

There aren't many things in my life that I was certain of, but the one thing I was always certain of ever since the day I met Fallon was that she was the one for me.

For now, I'll give her the space she needs. But once she gives me any indication that she's ready, I'm going to get my girl back. And this time, I'm never letting her go again.