The Way I Loved You | Tobias Eaton

nineteen

I admit, I was a little nervous about meeting Tobias' friends. Apart from a couple of brief interactions and that one conversation with Zeke, I haven't really been around them much.

On top of that, when we were back in Abnegation, it was as if Tobias and I were in our own little bubble. I never thought I'd have to worry about what his friends had thought about me then because neither of us had really bothered to make friends, always too immersed with each other.

With all that being said, this was a first for me.

I clutched onto Tobias' hand tightly- maybe a little too tight- but he never once complains. Instead, he leans into me and presses a sweet kiss to my temple and murmurs, "Relax, baby. They'll love you."

He'd sounded so sure in his words that some of the stiffness in my shoulder dissipated a little. I trusted Tobias' judgment in people, and if he liked them, I'm sure I'll get along fine with them too...at least, that's what I kept trying to tell myself.

Now, we're sitting in a circle with Zeke and his girlfriend, Shauna, as well as his brother, Uriah, and his two friends, Marlene and Lynn- who I've learnt were going through initiation like I was.

Toby has me seated between his legs with his arms banded over my waist, holding me close to him as if he didn't ever want to let me go again.

"Alright, folks," Zeke sighs as he raises from his spot. "I'm beat."

"Old!" Uriah hides the insult behind a cough.

Unfortunately for him, his brother still hears him and smacks him on the back of the head.

Uriah is up on his feet in an instant, rushing after his brother, gunning for revenge.

With a few 'good night's, the girls follow after the brothers who were still fighting all the way to the door.

"Should we be heading back too?"

Tobias grunts at my question and buries his face in my hair, "I think I'm good here."

I smile at his words, leaning back against his chest and making myself comfortable in his arms.

Tobias lets out a contented sigh, his breath ruffling my hair.

"All we're missing is a book and you reading to me," I comment.

I feel him smiling against my skin as he presses a kiss to my shoulder, "Don't forget our tree."

"Do you ever miss it? Abnegation?" It's only after I've blurted out the question that I realised how insensitive it was. Of course, he didn't miss being a punching bag for his father.

"It's stupid," I add quickly when he doesn't answer, "Forget I said anything."

Instead, Tobias squeezes my hand comfortingly and says, "All the time." His arms tighten around me, "Mainly because you were the only thing I ever thought of when I think back about Abnegation. You saved me, Fal. You were what made staying there worth it and I wouldn't change it for the world."

His words warmed my heart and tears started pooling in my eyes as I turned to look at him.

I place a hand on his cheek, studying the handsome features that felt so familiar yet looked so different at the same time.

"I love you, Tobias Eaton."

He smiles down at me, leaning forward until our foreheads meet.

"I love you, too," He whispers, his lips a hairs breath away from mine. "There will never be anyone else in this world that would make me feel the way you do."

Then, his lips were on mine as he kisses me deeply.

He kissed me like this was the last time he would ever get to do so. And god, I hope we'll never get to a day where we'll see the last.

Every time our lips meet it was as if a missing piece of a puzzle had been set in place again. Like the universe was returning me what was rightfully mine.

At this moment, I swore that I would never let him slip through my fingers again. I just hoped that he felt the same way towards me.

✵

I must've fallen asleep on the rooftop. Because the next thing I know, I awaken swaddled by a huge blanket and in a bed I didn't recognise.

The clock in the corner of the room reads that it was ten minutes past midnight.

Blinking to let my sight adjust to the darkness, I scan the room until my eyes land on Tobias, who sits in an armchair in the corner of the room with a book in hand and a small table lamp on the desk beside him as his only source of light.

"Aren't you coming to bed?" I ask.

Tobias's gaze lifts from the pages of his book to meet mine.

"Go back to sleep. I'll be there in a bit," He answers.

Pulling the covers around me, I take them with me as I slip out of bed, shivering as my bare feet meet the cold floor.

Tobias snaps his book shut as I approach him, his eyes trailing me as I slide into his lap.

He chuckles softly as I settle in against him. "Read to me," I request and he obliges.

Toby flips the book open once again and reads to me in a low voice that sends chills down my spine.

Just as sleep was about to claim me once again, my eyes snag on a familiar-looking piece of paper that was stuck on the wall against his desk, and it wasn't the only one.

I straighten to get a better look at them, recognising them as the notes that I've written for Tobias that I would stick in his books when we were younger.

"You kept them?" The words leave my lips in a whisper.

"Of course, I did," He replies, "They're a part of our story. I couldn't leave them behind."

I stare at the little doodles and scribble on the notes on his wall, guilt flashing through my chest when he asks, "Do you still have yours?"

Slowly, I shook my head. "I tossed them," I admitted apologetically, "After..."

There's a beat of silence as if to mourn the loss of a piece of our history together.

But then Tobias raises my eyes with a hand under my chin until  I was looking into those beautiful brown eyes of his.

"Hey, it's okay," He runs a hand through my hair, "That was a piece of the memories of our past. But this is the start of our future. We have the rest of forever. We'll make new ones."

His words were sweet, making my heart clench and I leaned forward to kiss him, just because I could.

Then, Tobias carried me back to bed and I fell asleep in his arms. And just like he'd promised, I woke up the next morning with a note waiting for me on Tobias's empty pillow that read; I never stood a chance when it came to you. You're it for me.