Zarry Proofs You Gotta Believe

i wanna talk

I don't know if everyone here follows aarin durham/ previously zarry documentaries and has read her recent blog.. (link at the very end) but I was so heartbroken as well as offended. I thought it was just about how Harry's new album is just as heartbreaking as zayn's was but damn.
I have been here a long time and was there when she began her channel and I feel like all of a sudden everyone is acting like Zayn and Harry owe us something, like coming out or admitting that they are/were in a relationship at some point of time in their lives.
Which is wild to me because that's farthest away from the truth.

We are here and were always here to show the boys that we support them and understand them. Not pressuring shit we see/believe in on them. We aren't like the other ships.

And, I also wanted to talk about a few things she talked about in her blog.

First, her calling Zayn and abusive/inconsiderate person.(I'm paraphrasing you can read the blog it's at the end of the chapter)
I'm appalled. So I'm a Zayn fan definitely. And that was kinda hurtful.

The two claims were that Z was/is forcing H to be in a heterosexual relationship just because he isn't ready to come out. Which is like WTAF?!?
How is that something that even makes sense! Harry is literally a person of his own if he is choosing to be with Camille or anyone for that matter of fact that's his choice. We never blamed Harry for Zayn being with Gigi as a cover because Harry wasn't ready did we?

"We don't define each other
Stand on your own, be a pillar" -River road

And for Harry being the poor lad in this narrative, is stupid. He wasn't there. He clearly isn't there even now. He still hasn't come out. He is still dating/acting like he is, On His Own Accord. He isn't under a management. He can do whatever the fuck he wants and he definitely isn't under zayn's fingers.

And Zayn has a child with Gigi he'll always have a relationship with her as he should. She was his best friend when he needed someone. She is his baby mama. He is a father and if you can't digest that fact I just - I have no words.

Zayn has been ready, he has been, to come out or just be with H. He said that very clearly in NIL

"And which left should I choose to take
What's left, is it room or space?
There are rumors we have to face
I prefer sooner than after late"
- Calamity

"Ain't fairly new to each other, call you my lover
Drinks to my liver, I cry now a river
Full of tears
Don't you ever hope for something else?"
"We can't control all the outcomes
Let go of the reins, ride the rhythm" - River Road

"Why's it gotta feel like I'm walkin' a tightrope?
Why you wanna see how far I fall?
'Cause I'm already up here and I got my eyes closed
And I ain't never fell from a love this tall
Are you ready? 'Cause I'm ready to let go
Never thought that I'd be ready again" - Tightrope

"So tired of fake friends
And fake love, you know" - Unfuckwitable

"Thinking we were always cool when
I was never even on your mind
Happens all the time" - Unfuckwitable

I could literally make a whole ass chapter with the lyrics from Z that will break your heart, but I'm not trying to blame anyone here I'm just talking about Z right now.

And Second, as far as being sick of being patient with Zayn. And waiting for Zayn to "redeem himself ".

One, obviously being, we don't fucking know what is actually going on between them. Whether it's Harry or Zayn avoiding the inevitable.
Two, Z was alone for most of the first few years of his solo career, completely alone. Not one person from the band had his back. Not even the one he was "in love" with. If anything that person was being a salty ass ex talking bullshit or just straight up ignoring Z. That takes time to heal from. (I understand where H was coming from but I think we can all agree that it was unnecessary)
Z had Gigi then. She had his back. Her family did. And I'll always be greatful for that.
Three, we don't know if Zayn is bisexual or homosexual. So if people have a problem with him using a female adjective for H or in His song I really can help them.
In addition to that point I would Also like to say that H does that too all the time. Running around with the pride flag on his concerts and acting like he is part of the LGBTQ community. Almost makes me feel like he is queerbating his audience. But I won't talk shit about him just because I feel that way.

Also if anyone has heard NIL, really listened, they'll realise leaving 2 songs there are no female pronouns used in zayn's songs. No pronouns at all. He did that.

*(Also I have a theory about windowsill I'll be talking about in the next part)*

Whereas Harry used Camille's voice message in his song. (Harry's house) That's what I call showing off. In Harry's house he still has female pronouns in his songs (daydreaming, keep driving, satellite, as it was).

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I couldn't help myself after reading her blog it's felt sooo wrong to see someone attacking Z like that. Especially after NIL... if anything I have understood from that album that everyone has hurt him recently and he is still somehow waiting to feel safe. With Harry. He literally bared his soul to us and that's what he gets. He literally talks about how he thought he has a family with Gigi but even that has hurt him. And just calamity alone would break anyone's heart if they had the patience to listen to it.

"Two weeks and I'll be home" -h

"So two weeks is now four dozen
Years that pass by, can't press no rewind
Just watch my life by and lock the right ties
Nobody, nobody is listening to me" -z

"Holdin' me back
Gravity's holdin' me back
I want you to hold out the palm of your hand
Why don't we leave it at that?
Nothin' to say" - As It Was

If I need to know anything about how/who is suffering in their relationship these two lyrics are more than enough.

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No I'm not saying Zayn is some innocent person and that he might have never hurt Harry because Zayn Is Perfect And He Would Never. But blaming him the way she did just triggered me. And I'm sorry if I sound harsh.

Yes I am on team Zayn because I can see farther than what they are showing up front. I can see he is hurting he has been hurting from the very beginning. And honestly maybe Harry has been too but.. making Zayn the bad guy is just messed up. He blog post has the tilte "Zayn is unworthy of Harry styles". That's just fucked up. Its for them to decide. And for us to support. Not to hate on any one of them or both, just because things are not falling in our narrative.

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Also my intention was not to drag her or anything. I appreciate her soo much for investing so much time on them (her YouTube channel), but this was a little too far. I hope she reads this and understands why people forgive Z for most things, and that no one in particular to be balmed for their relationship. Especially not from fans who don't even really know what's going on.

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https://aarindurham.com/blogposts/final-post-why-i-quit-this-website/