The Empress' Descent

Chapter 46 - The Lady Is In Love

I meandered my way into the sea of glittering gowns and gallant suits. They fell in line—no, more like flocked—to greet me. It was cramped and suffocating but I pushed through nonetheless, greeting back with small nods and forced smiles.

Elian, it seemed, was intent on following me. Unlike me, he did not care about evading the countless bodies blocking his path. He did not have to bother. They cleared his way for him. He didn't deign to notice them, either.

"Clary," he called. "Where are you going?"

"Nothing you need to be concerned about," I said for the third time.

"Yes, but where is it you're going really?" he pressed on.

I shut my eyes for a second. Then I turned and faced his own curious emerald eyes. Around us, the people had thought it better to tend to their own businesses, some hurrying to join the next dance.

"I am off to meet with Derek."

I had craved the sight of him—for the feel of him—since earlier. It was as though the moment my gaze found him, it locked in the image of him. It gave me the need to get nearer, drawn to his magnetism that was for me and me only.

Elian was eager. "Then I will come with you. I've known him far longer than you do. If the two of you are just going to have a talk—"

He stopped short, as if to reassess himself or me. I watched as he slowly took in the restlessness in me, the too-bright expression hinted with a bit of anxiety and the thrill. Oh, the thrill. A sense of familiarity crossed his face. It was as though Elian recognized the image of me. As though this was not alien to him.

His pupils cleared, transitioning into the greens of meadows. "Except it won't be just a normal talk, will it?"

I pressed my lips and nodded. I didn't know why I wanted to see him. But from the times I'd spent with Derek, I realized there were things that simply did not require reason.

Elian beamed, fascinated in his tone when he said, "Clary...you love him."

I paused, catching my breath. The words rang in my ears. It was unthinkable but thinkable all the same. Inside my chest was a burst of fuzziness and warmth. My pulse was a galloping mess and I, too, was a mess of knots and tangles.

Gods above, I do love him. I love him so much the veins in my heart would rupture.

In spite of myself, laughter escaped from my mouth. "I do. I actually do."

"Leave it to you to only figure that out now, I guess." He looked at me fondly. There was a hint of envy in his voice when he said, "I don't know what's so lovable about that blockhead, but remember that I am here if he makes you cry. I hate the thought of you not smiling. So be happy, all right? Be happy and think of nothing else."

My smile stretched wider. "Me neither, he seems to have enchanted me without my knowing. And I will be happy, Elian. As long as you are, too. Love is not without its second chances."

He shrugged. "Perhaps."

"Hey, I tried."

Elian chuckled. "Yes, you did. I will dare myself to open up this matter to my mother, eventually. Without you having to sacrifice anything, of course. I am tired of running. I truly can't see myself being, you know...tied down, unfree."

"I fully understand. Should you need my support, I will gladly offer it."

"Thank you, Clary. Although I think I got it from here. You've done enough for me already."

"That is absolute nonsense."

"It's true. I need this. Or else I won't change." He laughed a laugh that lacked humor. "I want to stop turning my back on my problems."