GTU #1: Loving Her Was Red

Chapter 14

It's been a week since me and Sibal broke up. It hurts so much, but i can't do anything beacuse that's what he wants, ibinigay ko lang naman yung tanging hinihiling niya.

Ngayon ko lang din napag tanto na, yun pala yung bagay na gustong gusto niyang makuha sa birthday niya. Hindi ko inexpect na magbabago pala yung gusto niya. Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari. We're both fine, wala akong natandaan na may ginawa akong mali sakanya para saktan niya ako ng ganto.

For all people, I didn't expect na siya pa ang mananait sakin ng ganto.

I am now starting to hate birthdays.

But I need to let him go. Letting go is hard. But it's harder to stay and continue to be an option.

Kung maitatanong niyo, bakit ganun ko nalang siya bitawan o bakit hindi ko siya pinaglaban. Para saan pa? If I fight for our relationship, it will only hurt and make it difficult for the both of us. I don't want to make it more difficult for him to choose me and whoever made Sibal's heart beat.

Just because I didn't fight for him doesn't mean I don't love him anymore. I just didn't want to make it harder for him so I just let him go.

Letting go does not mean you stop caring. It means you stop to force others to.

Do you think letting go is easy?

It's very hard, right?

And it's painful especially when you are together for a long time. I know it will take years for us to fully heal but every day it helps us realize that this was one of the best decisions we ever made. Letting go helps us rediscover our worth, and I believe it prepares us for happiness and for the love we truly deserve.

I didn't go to school for a week, because after what happened in Sibal's dressing room on his birthday, I immediately left the venue, ignoring the artists I met who kept greeting me.

That same night I flew to Paris, my safe haven. I stayed there kasi di ako makauwi ng pilipinas because I was f*cking hurt and I didn't want magmukmok na lang sa penthouse.

Nag wali-waliw ako sa Paris, naglibot ako kung saan-saan, para mabawasan ang iniisip ko. Alam kong pag-uwi ko sa Pilipinas, tatadtarin ako sa sermon ni George.

Ang daming text at calls and mga Ate's ko, mga kaibigan ko, well, and taong hindi ko expect na itetext ako ay nagtext mga anteh. Alam kong patay ako nito pag uwi ko ng pinas.

MGA FERZONS

DIORA THE POPSTAR QUEEN
Still alive, people.

STELLA THE BAKLA 2
punyeta kang yawa ka, san lupalop ka nag punta?

PIERRE THE PLAYBOY
haluh anteh
buhay ka pa pala?

DRIX THE GOOD BOY
GOD, dionne where did you go?

PENPEN DI SARAPEN
Diora!!!
I thought may nanyari na sayo!
San ka na naman nagpunta???

MATT THE BAKLA 1
Tangina mo, san ka nag puntaaaaa
ano?
magsasalita ka o pasasabugin ko ng granada yung penthouse mo?

GEORE THE KJ
DIONNE CELESTE ALCANATARA, WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?
MUNTIK KA NA NAMAIN IPAHANAP SA MGA PULIS KUNG HINDI LANG NAGLEAK YUNG PICTURE MO NA NASA PARIS KA, GAGA KA!!!!!!!!!!!
UMUWI KA NA, AT MADAMI PA TAYONG PAG UUSAPAN
MASASABUNUTAN NA TALAGA KITA!!!

ART ART LIKE DOGGIE
OMG, diora!!!
nag alala kami sayo ng sobra huhu

DIONNE THE POPSTAR QUEEN
Fetch me in the airport pls.
I can't do it alone.

DRIX THE GOOD BOY
We'll fetch u, just tell us you arriving.

Ibinigay ko yung arriving time ko sakanila and ayun nga as expected. Nag alboroto si George, but I know, may nasesence na sila sa kung anong nangyayari sakin ngayon. They'll know na may reason why I went to Paris alone. Ganyan kasi ang scenario ko kapag may problema ako, nagpapakalayo ako at pumupunta sa safe haven ko.

I already touch down in NAIA, and pagkalabas ko pa lang ng airplain ay bumungad na saakin ang mga maraming bodyguard and of course sino pa nga ba ang may pakana nito? Syempre ang mapagmahal ko manager.

Habang palabas na ako ng Airport ay nakita ko na mga barakada ko, they are all waiting for me. I mentally smile, sad to say but I missed them.

Agad akong sinalubong ng mahigpit na yakap ni George

"I think you owe us an explanation" She said to me and I just nodded at her

I also hug ang mga kaibigan ko.

As expected madaming mga fans na nasa labas ng airport, but I can't entertain them now. Wala ako sa mood para maging mabait ngayon.

Nakayuko lang ako wearing my shades, hoodie on while Drix side hugging me.

Nang makapasok na kami ng van ay tahimik lang ako na nakaupo habang nakatingin sa labas.

"Hey"

Nilingon ko kung sino yun and I saw drix looking at me with his worried eyes.

"Are you okay?" tanong niya and I smile a little and nodded at balik ulit ang tingin sa kalsada. I heard drix signed, he knows me so well, and alam ko din na minention niya mgakaibigan namin na wag mag ingay dahil alam na alam nila ayoko ng ganun. 

I felt like someone's staring at me, and i know who they are.

"Stop looking at me like that" I told them habang nakatingin pa rin sa labas ng araw.

I need to be strong, hindi pwedeng lagi akong ganto. Tahimik lang ang byahe namin, no one's bother to break the silence. They know me very well, kapag ayoko ng may maingay o kinukulit ako, hihintayin nila ako na magsabi ng problema sakanila hindi nila ako pipilitin na magsabi sakanila, hihintayin nila na ako na mismo ang lalapit sakanila para magsabi ng kung ano ang mga bagay bagay na tumatakbo sa isipan ko.

When we arrived at the mansion, I was immediately greeted with a hug from Mommy. I felt sorry for them, because I didn't even tell them I was leaving and I worried about them a lot. I was also greeted by my worried 'sisters', they scolded me but it was not what I expected from them, because before when I left without telling them they would really scold me, but now, they are calm.

It's been 2 weeks, matapos ang mga pangyayaring yun and I am currently in school's cafeteria, kasama ko na naman ang mga mokong. 

"Nakaka inis yang pagmumukha mo no bat ka na lang kunin ni lord?" inis na sambit ni stella kay peirre 

at ayan na naman silang dalawa nagbabangayan na naman, wala talagang oras na di sila nag aaway minsan gusto ko nalang sila itapon sa mars

after that day, hindi nila ako hinayaan mag isa, they accompanied me, they made me happy even though their jokes were very corny. They are the type of friends that even though they are like that, they never leave me. They stayed with me, even though I was a mess. That they are the type of friends who listen to my rants, that they show that they are all interested in what I say, they never make me feel left out. I am very lucky to have them as my friends. 

I need a fresh start, do the things I love and entertain myself. It's not the end of the world for my world to stop with him, I have a life and dreams.

Diora's new life in the next chapters. 

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namiss niyo ba? HAHAHAHA sorry guys nabusy ako sa collage life. Anyways thank for waiting!! mwa!! 

Basahin niyo to a magtatampo ako kapag hindi HAHAHAHA